We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm, and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." - Jawaharial Nehri
Day 20 - Benson, AZ to Casa Grande, AZ - Daily Distance - 113 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 3730 miles
333 miles left
It only takes one text to suck you back into work.
We were getting our now normal late start to the day. My Mom is having difficulty breathing at night and that is keeping her up. So when she does sleep, Jack lets her.
Makes sense. We're not in a rush to finish The Bucket Trip.
I've been up since 5:00 a.m. I'm not sleeping well at all. I'm having nightmares every night now.
Last night was a vivid one.
I had a dream that I was backstage at Disneyland and I watched as a plan crashed into the Main Street Opera House.
The crash woke me up and I wasn't going back to sleep.
So I had a lot of time to get breakfast, get the car gassed up, and catch up with things on the blog and on facebook.
I don't get the heads up from my Mom and Jack that they are ready to go until just after 11:00 a.m.
I've got all of their stuff on a bell cart when I get the text from my best friend at work.
"I'm sorry to tell you but (name redacted) passed away yesterday."
I'm blindsided.
I knew she was ill and I knew it was bad.
I didn't think it was that bad.
I tell my Mom and Jack that a former co-worker has died.
They've got their own problems to deal with.
I hop in my seat and I reflect on my friend while we drive away.
We didn't really connect until after we started working together. During that period of time, she struggled in the role and I kept my distance because of it.
When we were going through layoffs after 9/11, we all thought that she would be one of the folks that got RIF'ed (Reduction In workForce for you non-HR people). We kept waiting to see if she was going to get called into a conference room and be told that was it.
But it never happened. She survived.
A few years later, we connected because both of us lost a parent. I lost my dad and she lost her mom.
This created a bond that remained until her own passing.
See, when you work with people that haven't gone through the loss of a parent, they don't get why you don't stop grieving. You can be totally bummed out like three months later and people that hadn't had this experience will be like "Dude, that was like three months ago? You've got to move on!"
Well, people that haven't lost a parent, YOU DON'T GET OVER IT!!!
Each day, the pain just becomes less and less.
My friend got this.
And whenever she needed to talk about her mom or I needed to talk about my dad, we would find each other.
It was our own little club. The Dead Parent Club.
I am very sad she's gone and I didn't get a chance to see her one last time.
So sorry for your loss. :-(
ReplyDeleteI can not agree with you more on the loss of a parent. I don't think the pain gets less, I think, like any major injury (broken bones, pain and nerve damage after an accident that leaves you in a coma due to brain injury, that sort of thing), you become used to it. It doesn't heal or go away, you just get used to living with it. But you're right, people who have never been through it just don't understand it. It's been almost 15 years since I lost my mom, and I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and see how she is. I still look at my 15 month-old son (born one day before her birthday!), and get sad, thinking that he'll never know her, that she never got a chance to meet him. I'm getting teary writing this.
ReplyDeleteNo, it doesn't get better. Doesn't get easier. And there are rough days ahead for all of us. Some sooner than later. All I can say, is you have people who care. People to lean on. Let them help support you, if you need it. Sometimes we all do.