The drive back to Sikeston is a long one.
I'm tired and exhilarated at the same time.
Visiting Marceline was one of those things on my own Bucket List and now that was done.
I wasn't sure how my Mom's and Jack's day was going and I wanted to get back as quickly as possible.
As long as I avoid getting a speeding ticket.
I set the route on my iPhone and I'm off.
Unfortunately, I don't take a look at it before I leave and the iPhone takes me on a country road with pretty much nobody on it.
I'm not going to lie. It is nervewracking.
I just imagine this new Jeep breaking down and all of a sudden I'm the protoganist in a found footage horror movie fiding himself on the business end of a terrifying banjo player.
When my cell service picks up, a text from my Mom comes in.
She wants me to pick them up at Claudette's house.
I need to fill the Jeep up with gas first and then get checked back into our hotel.
Once I have that down, I'm off to Claudette's.
When I get there, everyone is in the front room. My Mom is in the recliner that Claudette's husband normally sits in.
She's comfortable sitting up for the first time on the trip.
They've already had dinner but Claudette fixes me a taco really quickly.
We just sit and visit in their front room. Claudette's granddaughters, "The Chicks," are haning out with us. There is a Cardinal game on TV that they are half-watching.
And for now, everything is normal.
There's no Bucket Trip.
There's no ALS.
There's just our family hanging out.
Claudette hss Madison put on a little show for us. She's been seeing a vocal coach for a while.
Madison takes the stages - or the top of the stairs to the kitchen that we had to carry my Mom up the other day - and she starts to sing.
She is better than good. Has an old country sound to her.
Now, I'm not into country music but I do know when somebody has talent.
At 11 years old, she can sing.
We don't stay too much longer. It is dusk when we leave and the lightening bugs are dancing across the street.
We say our goodbyes and load my mom into the car.
Driving down the country road back out to the main highway, the lightening bugs line the street like the landing lights at an airport landing strip.
It was a long one but I don't think this day could have gone any better.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Day 11 - Marceline, MO - Part Four
I was running out of time.
It is a six hour drive back to Sikeston and it is already after noon.
This has been a fun diversion but this was not the reason for The Bucket Trip.
I need to get back to my Mom and Jack.
But before I do that, I have one last stop.
The childhood home of Walt Disney.
The volunteer at the Walt Disney Hometown Museum gave me a map of the city. Looking at it, I realize that I drove right past the house on my way in.
I get back in the Jeep and downtown Marceline quickly fades from my focus.
I need to find the house.
It seems to take forever to find the house but it really is only four or five minutes.
And then I'm there.
I pull over to the side of the road and hop out with my iPad to take pictures.
There's a sign out from designating this as Walt's childhood home. I start taking pictures and walk around to the east side of the property. There seems to be a barn there but it doesn't look like the one that I've seen on line.
I retreat back to the car.
I look a little further down the road and I can see signs pointing to the barn.
It isn't the actual barn that was on the property when Walt was here. That is long gone.
But it will do today.
I follow the signs and you first see Walt's Dreaming Tree.
Unfortunately, the Dreaming Tree was struck by lightening and it is dying.
But it is still there and they have harvested over a million seeds from this tree.
Someday, a Dreaming Tree will be back and healthy there.
And then you see the barn.
It's smaller than you think.
Looks newer than it should.
I walk up to the barn.
There's nobody else around.
When you enter the barn, you can't help but see all of the notes that have been left for Walt.
They are everywhere.
I walk around a look for an open spot.
I need to search out a spot higher than what most people can get to.
I find a beam that is about 9 feet off of the ground.
There's nothing on it. It's going to be mine.
I pull out the Sharpie and write my note of thanks and sign my name.
I place the Sharpie in a place that will be easy to find for the next person to come in and I leave the barn.
Walking out, there is a family on their way in.
I smile and say "Howdy" as I pass them.
I get back into the Jeep and start my six and a half hour drive back to Sikeston.
It is a six hour drive back to Sikeston and it is already after noon.
This has been a fun diversion but this was not the reason for The Bucket Trip.
I need to get back to my Mom and Jack.
But before I do that, I have one last stop.
The childhood home of Walt Disney.
The volunteer at the Walt Disney Hometown Museum gave me a map of the city. Looking at it, I realize that I drove right past the house on my way in.
I get back in the Jeep and downtown Marceline quickly fades from my focus.
I need to find the house.
It seems to take forever to find the house but it really is only four or five minutes.
And then I'm there.
I pull over to the side of the road and hop out with my iPad to take pictures.
There's a sign out from designating this as Walt's childhood home. I start taking pictures and walk around to the east side of the property. There seems to be a barn there but it doesn't look like the one that I've seen on line.
I retreat back to the car.
I look a little further down the road and I can see signs pointing to the barn.
It isn't the actual barn that was on the property when Walt was here. That is long gone.
But it will do today.
I follow the signs and you first see Walt's Dreaming Tree.
Unfortunately, the Dreaming Tree was struck by lightening and it is dying.
But it is still there and they have harvested over a million seeds from this tree.
Someday, a Dreaming Tree will be back and healthy there.
And then you see the barn.
It's smaller than you think.
Looks newer than it should.
I walk up to the barn.
There's nobody else around.
When you enter the barn, you can't help but see all of the notes that have been left for Walt.
They are everywhere.
I walk around a look for an open spot.
I need to search out a spot higher than what most people can get to.
I find a beam that is about 9 feet off of the ground.
There's nothing on it. It's going to be mine.
I pull out the Sharpie and write my note of thanks and sign my name.
I place the Sharpie in a place that will be easy to find for the next person to come in and I leave the barn.
Walking out, there is a family on their way in.
I smile and say "Howdy" as I pass them.
I get back into the Jeep and start my six and a half hour drive back to Sikeston.
Day 11 - Marceline, MO - Part Three
I've been very fortunate to have the opportunity to spend time with people that knew Walt Disney.
Typically, I would be interviewing them for our Video Communications team at Disneyland and these interviews would be broadcast to all of the Cast Members at the Disneyland Resort.
But I really haven't had the opportunity to have a private chat with one of these folks.
The opportunity to share just as much as I was going to listen.
And now, the opportunity was right there in front of me.
Kaye and I sit down and start eating the chicken salad sandwiches that Dorothy made for the three of us. Dorothy had to excuse herself as she had some other business that she had to attend to.
And now I'm here with Kaye.
There are pictures of her on display in the Walt Disney Hometown Museum. She is standing there with Walt during one of his visits to Marceline.
And while 50 years have passed since those pictures were taken, Kaye pretty much looks the same.
Short blonde hair that is still styled the same way she had it as a teenager. She's in her eartly 60's now but there is a sparkle in her eyes that is undeniable.
She's just a little bit younger than my Mom.
"What brought you to Marceline?" she asks.
And before I know it, I spill the entire story. Maybe it is because I've been writing so much on the trip but The Bucket Trip story just explodes out of me.
I share with her that I've worked at Disneyland for 24 years and with being this close to Walt's hometown, I had to be here.
She offers he condolences and then shares this.
"You know, John. Tuesdays are my normal day off. I'm really not supposed to be here today. I think your visit here is something that was just meant to be."
She has no idea how right she is.
We talk more about her story and how Walt Disney and his family used to stay at her hourse because they had the only house that had central air in Marceline. Initally, her mother was concerned about hosting the Disney's properly but once they got there, they learned that the Disney's were just country boys are heart despite all of their success in Hollywood.
She told me about going out to Disneyland to work for two summers. I asked her why she decided to come out.
"Walt called me and said that he bet Disneyland would hire me if I applied."
I can't imagine a recruiter at Disneyland declining THAT Casting Scout.
She worked in Attractions both summers. Once on the Matterhorn (she said she worked with Disney Legend, Chuck Abbott) and once in the Carousel of Progress.
We talked about the people working for the Company that we both know. I shared with her a little bit about what is going on at the Disneyland Resort and she shared that she was excited to come out there in July for the Disneyana Convention.
The longer we chatted, the more I realized how much in common the two of us had.
Kaye (along with some other dedicated residents of Marceline) were trying to keep Walt's memory alive here in his hometown.
Back in Anaheim, my job is to keep Walt's dream alive by finding the right people to do just that.
Before I know it, an hour has passed by.
I need to get back to Sikeston. Back to my Mom and Jack.
We exchange business cards and Kaye gives me some other collateral material.
Dorothy has returned and she offers me a homemade oatmeal cookie for the road.
Kaye asks if I've been to the Disney family house and barn. I haven't yet.
"Well you need to go on your way out and sign the barn!"
I ask if there is a place I can by a pen so I can sign the barn and before I can get the question out, Dorothy is handing me a sharpie.
"Just leave it in the barn for the next person," Dorothy says with a smile.
The kindness that these two ladies have shown me is unreal. I'm on the verge of tears as she gives me the pen to use.
I get up to leave and Kaye stops me.
"Before you go, let's have a Marceline HUG!"
I give both Kaye and Dorothy huge hugs and take pictures with them both.
I can't believe that all of this really just happened!
Typically, I would be interviewing them for our Video Communications team at Disneyland and these interviews would be broadcast to all of the Cast Members at the Disneyland Resort.
But I really haven't had the opportunity to have a private chat with one of these folks.
The opportunity to share just as much as I was going to listen.
And now, the opportunity was right there in front of me.
Kaye and I sit down and start eating the chicken salad sandwiches that Dorothy made for the three of us. Dorothy had to excuse herself as she had some other business that she had to attend to.
And now I'm here with Kaye.
There are pictures of her on display in the Walt Disney Hometown Museum. She is standing there with Walt during one of his visits to Marceline.
And while 50 years have passed since those pictures were taken, Kaye pretty much looks the same.
Short blonde hair that is still styled the same way she had it as a teenager. She's in her eartly 60's now but there is a sparkle in her eyes that is undeniable.
She's just a little bit younger than my Mom.
"What brought you to Marceline?" she asks.
And before I know it, I spill the entire story. Maybe it is because I've been writing so much on the trip but The Bucket Trip story just explodes out of me.
I share with her that I've worked at Disneyland for 24 years and with being this close to Walt's hometown, I had to be here.
She offers he condolences and then shares this.
"You know, John. Tuesdays are my normal day off. I'm really not supposed to be here today. I think your visit here is something that was just meant to be."
She has no idea how right she is.
We talk more about her story and how Walt Disney and his family used to stay at her hourse because they had the only house that had central air in Marceline. Initally, her mother was concerned about hosting the Disney's properly but once they got there, they learned that the Disney's were just country boys are heart despite all of their success in Hollywood.
She told me about going out to Disneyland to work for two summers. I asked her why she decided to come out.
"Walt called me and said that he bet Disneyland would hire me if I applied."
I can't imagine a recruiter at Disneyland declining THAT Casting Scout.
She worked in Attractions both summers. Once on the Matterhorn (she said she worked with Disney Legend, Chuck Abbott) and once in the Carousel of Progress.
We talked about the people working for the Company that we both know. I shared with her a little bit about what is going on at the Disneyland Resort and she shared that she was excited to come out there in July for the Disneyana Convention.
The longer we chatted, the more I realized how much in common the two of us had.
Kaye (along with some other dedicated residents of Marceline) were trying to keep Walt's memory alive here in his hometown.
Back in Anaheim, my job is to keep Walt's dream alive by finding the right people to do just that.
Before I know it, an hour has passed by.
I need to get back to Sikeston. Back to my Mom and Jack.
We exchange business cards and Kaye gives me some other collateral material.
Dorothy has returned and she offers me a homemade oatmeal cookie for the road.
Kaye asks if I've been to the Disney family house and barn. I haven't yet.
"Well you need to go on your way out and sign the barn!"
I ask if there is a place I can by a pen so I can sign the barn and before I can get the question out, Dorothy is handing me a sharpie.
"Just leave it in the barn for the next person," Dorothy says with a smile.
The kindness that these two ladies have shown me is unreal. I'm on the verge of tears as she gives me the pen to use.
I get up to leave and Kaye stops me.
"Before you go, let's have a Marceline HUG!"
I give both Kaye and Dorothy huge hugs and take pictures with them both.
I can't believe that all of this really just happened!
Day 11 - Marceline, MO - Part Two
I've spent a lot of time on Main Street, USA at Disneyland.
I was a sweeper. One of the guys and gals that wear all white, walk around with a dust pan and broom, and tell people where the restroom is about 5000 times during the course of a shift.
Main Street, USA was (and still is) the glamour assignment for a sweeper. It is the first and last land that guests see.
It needs to be kept immaculate (and the key to that is to clean under the benches).
And now here I am on the real Main Street, USA.
It is a little past 11:00 a.m. and things are really quiet in Marceline.
There's no background music or marching bands.
No characters or trains circling.
I'm the only sweeper here.
And my broom is retired.
I snap pictures for posterity of things that remind me of Disneyland.
It is just neat to be here.
I'm just outside the Uptown theater waiting for Kaye to arrive.
I feel a little weird. Like I'm intruding on whatever plans they had.
The large tour bus pulls around the corner and up to the theater.
Kaye leads a group of 40 seniors from Iowa into the theater. She waves me in.
We walk into the small lobby of the theater. It has that good, old smell.
It smells like history.
The owner of the theater is flittering around getting popcorn and sodas ready for the tour group.
Kaye tries to introduce me to her but it is clear to me that she's focused on the tour group.
Kaye invites me in to take a seat in the theater.
And I've walked back into time.
The theater probably seats about 250 patrons. The old curtains are still up and the clock that the local grocery store donated in exchange for ad space still glows to the left of the screen more than 50 years after it was given to the theater.
We have become so accustomed to going to multiplexes with Dolby Surround Sound and 3D effects, there is something to be said for seeing something in a small town theater.
This is wonderful.
Kaye has a handheld PA system and she introduces the owner of the theater, Dorothy.
Dorothy takes over and introduces two clips from Disc Two of Lady and The Tramp that highlight Marceline. I hadn't realized that Marceline was also the inspiration for the setting of that movie.
The two clips last a total of 10 minutes and the tour group is then led out to have a box lunch around the corner.
Kaye escorts them out and invites me to stick with Dorothy.
Dorothy offers me a soda and we walk next door to the bakery that she owns adjacent to theater.
"Would you like a chicken salad sandwich" sha asked. "Kaye and I were going to have lunch and you are welcome to join us!"
I hear myself say "Sure!" but I really can't believe this is happening. This is amazing.
I take a seat while Dorothy slices croissants and assembles the three sandwiches.
Dorothy shared with me that she owns the theater, the bakery, and the four room bed and breakfast in the building. They are also behind a yearly event called ToonFest where different cartoonists are honored here in Marceline.
As if on cue, Kaye returns right as the sandwiches are ready to eat.
She takes a seat opposite of me.
And we begin our conversation.
I was a sweeper. One of the guys and gals that wear all white, walk around with a dust pan and broom, and tell people where the restroom is about 5000 times during the course of a shift.
Main Street, USA was (and still is) the glamour assignment for a sweeper. It is the first and last land that guests see.
It needs to be kept immaculate (and the key to that is to clean under the benches).
And now here I am on the real Main Street, USA.
It is a little past 11:00 a.m. and things are really quiet in Marceline.
There's no background music or marching bands.
No characters or trains circling.
I'm the only sweeper here.
And my broom is retired.
I snap pictures for posterity of things that remind me of Disneyland.
It is just neat to be here.
I'm just outside the Uptown theater waiting for Kaye to arrive.
I feel a little weird. Like I'm intruding on whatever plans they had.
The large tour bus pulls around the corner and up to the theater.
Kaye leads a group of 40 seniors from Iowa into the theater. She waves me in.
We walk into the small lobby of the theater. It has that good, old smell.
It smells like history.
The owner of the theater is flittering around getting popcorn and sodas ready for the tour group.
Kaye tries to introduce me to her but it is clear to me that she's focused on the tour group.
Kaye invites me in to take a seat in the theater.
And I've walked back into time.
The theater probably seats about 250 patrons. The old curtains are still up and the clock that the local grocery store donated in exchange for ad space still glows to the left of the screen more than 50 years after it was given to the theater.
We have become so accustomed to going to multiplexes with Dolby Surround Sound and 3D effects, there is something to be said for seeing something in a small town theater.
This is wonderful.
Kaye has a handheld PA system and she introduces the owner of the theater, Dorothy.
Dorothy takes over and introduces two clips from Disc Two of Lady and The Tramp that highlight Marceline. I hadn't realized that Marceline was also the inspiration for the setting of that movie.
The two clips last a total of 10 minutes and the tour group is then led out to have a box lunch around the corner.
Kaye escorts them out and invites me to stick with Dorothy.
Dorothy offers me a soda and we walk next door to the bakery that she owns adjacent to theater.
"Would you like a chicken salad sandwich" sha asked. "Kaye and I were going to have lunch and you are welcome to join us!"
I hear myself say "Sure!" but I really can't believe this is happening. This is amazing.
I take a seat while Dorothy slices croissants and assembles the three sandwiches.
Dorothy shared with me that she owns the theater, the bakery, and the four room bed and breakfast in the building. They are also behind a yearly event called ToonFest where different cartoonists are honored here in Marceline.
As if on cue, Kaye returns right as the sandwiches are ready to eat.
She takes a seat opposite of me.
And we begin our conversation.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Day 11 - Marceline, MO - Part One
"To tell the truth, more things of importance happened to me in Marceline than have happened since - or are likely to in the future" - Walt Disney
(Note: I'm not counting the miles on this part of the trip because my Mom and Jack are not with me. But for those of you keeping track, it is 672 miles from Sikeston to Marceline and back).
5:45 a.m. comes pretty early.
I get up and am out the door by 6:00 a.m.
I need to get something to eat before starting to drive and I need to clean off the windshield before getting on the road.
I stop at a gas station to do both.
While I'm in there, I see Powerball is up to over $140 million. I buy two tickets.
We've already won the Shit Lottery with what is going on with my Mom. Maybe I could get a real win out of this.
By staying overnight in St. Louis, I've shaved a couple of hours off of my drive. But it is still going to be three and a half hours before I roll into Marceline.
I've spent part of this journey reading the Bob Thomas biography of Walt Disney.
I'm ready to see where he grew up
I struggle with driving the Jeep appropriately. It is REALLY easy to find yourself at 85 to 90 mph.
The drive to Marceline is pretty. Almost too pretty.
Because I miss where I was supposed to turn off.
I quickly recalculate and realize that there is another way to get there.
I start seeing the signs posted to let me know I'm getting closer and closer to Marceline.
I come up on it quicker than I expect.
It's 9:30 in the morning.
And I'm on Main Street, Marceline.
Actually, it is Kansas Avenue.
And it doesn't QUITE look like the way I might have pictured it.
But that's because this isn't a turn of the 20th Century town anymore.
Things have been replaced or worn down.
Shopfronts are closed.
But there IS life here.
And you can see that they have embraced Walt Disney as their favorite son.
I follow the signs to the Walt Disney Hometown Museum.
They don't open for another 20 minutes now but I see one of the volunteers putting out their "OPEN" flag.
I decide to take a peek at their Main Street. I get pictures of their Emporium and of the building that Coke Corner was based on.
I get a really nice shot of the Uptown theater marquee too.
There is nobody on the street.
I have it all to myself.
I head over to Ripley Park. There's a gazebo there that has offered concerts since 1888. There is also a steam locomotive that has DISNEYLAND RAILROAD painted on the side.
I'm snapping away with pictures and I realize that the museum is about to open.
I see a tour bus pull to the museum.
I've got to get in before them.
I start taking pictures outside the museum when I see something that is a bit of a bummer.
No photography allowed inside.
I take my iPad back to my car and then I head inside.
The Museum is staffed by volunteers that can be identified by their run vests and Walt Disney Hometown
One of them greets me at the front desk and invites me to register in a notebook to the right of her.
There is a five dollar fee to get in but I don't remember paying.
A family of four is ahead of me getting a tour with one of the volunteers and the one at the desk invites me to join them.
The tour begins with Walt's years in Marceline. They have class pictures and the actual desk from the school that he attended.
The volunteer is basically recounting stories that I just read about in the Bob Thomas biography.
But she is charming and I enjoy listening to her.
We don't stay too long with her because she is going to lead the tour group through the museum.
She invites us to explore on our own and at this point, I pretty much have the museum to myself.
My first reaction was that the displays have opportunities to look nicer.
Like the museums back home.
But I quickly change my mind.
This is about Marceline and the people of Mareline have poured their hearts into these displays.
They are completely charming.
I spend about an hour just trying to soak everything in.
I need to get back to Sikeston and it is going to take me six and a half hours to do that.
I make my way to the exit.
One of the volunteers stops me and asks about my experience.
I tell her that it was amazing and that I just wished I had more time to explore.
I also tell her that I'm from Disneyland in California and that it is a thrill to be here.
She tells me that I need to meet Kaye.
Kaye is the President of the Walt Disney Hometown Museum. You see pictures of her with Walt Disney on display inside.
The volunteer takes me over to Kaye and introduces me.
Kaye is busy with the tour group that is about to come in. I can see her wanting to chat with me but also wanting to meet her obligations to the tour group.
It is just nice to meet her.
"John, if you'd like to, meet me at the Uptown Theater at 11:20. After I've finished with this tour group, I'd love to chat with you."
I thanked her for time and told her I'd see her there.
I wondered what we were going to talk about.
(Note: I'm not counting the miles on this part of the trip because my Mom and Jack are not with me. But for those of you keeping track, it is 672 miles from Sikeston to Marceline and back).
5:45 a.m. comes pretty early.
I get up and am out the door by 6:00 a.m.
I need to get something to eat before starting to drive and I need to clean off the windshield before getting on the road.
I stop at a gas station to do both.
While I'm in there, I see Powerball is up to over $140 million. I buy two tickets.
We've already won the Shit Lottery with what is going on with my Mom. Maybe I could get a real win out of this.
By staying overnight in St. Louis, I've shaved a couple of hours off of my drive. But it is still going to be three and a half hours before I roll into Marceline.
I've spent part of this journey reading the Bob Thomas biography of Walt Disney.
I'm ready to see where he grew up
I struggle with driving the Jeep appropriately. It is REALLY easy to find yourself at 85 to 90 mph.
The drive to Marceline is pretty. Almost too pretty.
Because I miss where I was supposed to turn off.
I quickly recalculate and realize that there is another way to get there.
I start seeing the signs posted to let me know I'm getting closer and closer to Marceline.
I come up on it quicker than I expect.
It's 9:30 in the morning.
And I'm on Main Street, Marceline.
Actually, it is Kansas Avenue.
And it doesn't QUITE look like the way I might have pictured it.
But that's because this isn't a turn of the 20th Century town anymore.
Things have been replaced or worn down.
Shopfronts are closed.
But there IS life here.
And you can see that they have embraced Walt Disney as their favorite son.
I follow the signs to the Walt Disney Hometown Museum.
They don't open for another 20 minutes now but I see one of the volunteers putting out their "OPEN" flag.
I decide to take a peek at their Main Street. I get pictures of their Emporium and of the building that Coke Corner was based on.
I get a really nice shot of the Uptown theater marquee too.
There is nobody on the street.
I have it all to myself.
I head over to Ripley Park. There's a gazebo there that has offered concerts since 1888. There is also a steam locomotive that has DISNEYLAND RAILROAD painted on the side.
I'm snapping away with pictures and I realize that the museum is about to open.
I see a tour bus pull to the museum.
I've got to get in before them.
I start taking pictures outside the museum when I see something that is a bit of a bummer.
No photography allowed inside.
I take my iPad back to my car and then I head inside.
The Museum is staffed by volunteers that can be identified by their run vests and Walt Disney Hometown
One of them greets me at the front desk and invites me to register in a notebook to the right of her.
There is a five dollar fee to get in but I don't remember paying.
A family of four is ahead of me getting a tour with one of the volunteers and the one at the desk invites me to join them.
The tour begins with Walt's years in Marceline. They have class pictures and the actual desk from the school that he attended.
The volunteer is basically recounting stories that I just read about in the Bob Thomas biography.
But she is charming and I enjoy listening to her.
We don't stay too long with her because she is going to lead the tour group through the museum.
She invites us to explore on our own and at this point, I pretty much have the museum to myself.
My first reaction was that the displays have opportunities to look nicer.
Like the museums back home.
But I quickly change my mind.
This is about Marceline and the people of Mareline have poured their hearts into these displays.
They are completely charming.
I spend about an hour just trying to soak everything in.
I need to get back to Sikeston and it is going to take me six and a half hours to do that.
I make my way to the exit.
One of the volunteers stops me and asks about my experience.
I tell her that it was amazing and that I just wished I had more time to explore.
I also tell her that I'm from Disneyland in California and that it is a thrill to be here.
She tells me that I need to meet Kaye.
Kaye is the President of the Walt Disney Hometown Museum. You see pictures of her with Walt Disney on display inside.
The volunteer takes me over to Kaye and introduces me.
Kaye is busy with the tour group that is about to come in. I can see her wanting to chat with me but also wanting to meet her obligations to the tour group.
It is just nice to meet her.
"John, if you'd like to, meet me at the Uptown Theater at 11:20. After I've finished with this tour group, I'd love to chat with you."
I thanked her for time and told her I'd see her there.
I wondered what we were going to talk about.
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Conclusion
If I'm going to drive to Marceline tomorrow, I need a head start.
My friend in St. Louis has invited me to crash in her place for the night and then I can get up at the crack of dawn to get on the road.
It will almost make the drive bearable.
I check out of the hotel and put my bag in the car. It is going to be the first time that I get to drive the new Jeep for any significant length of time.
I check in with "The Kids" before I leave. I'm a little nervous about leaving them on their own. I feel better because Claudette will be around but I'm going to make this trip as quickly as possible.
My Mom is already in bed. She is, as they say here, plum tuckered.
She's making me put a note in my pocket with Jack's phone number as my ICE number.
I'm surprised she's not asking me to pin it to my shirt.
I tell them that I'll be back around 7:00 p.m.
The drive to St. Louis is a nice one. I get plenty of time to think about what we've done so far on this trip. It is pretty amazing that just 16 dayts ago, I had no idea that this was going to be happening.
I meet my friend at the her local bar. Walking in, I see a cigarette vending machine next to the front door. I knew I was going far away on this trip but I had no idea i was going to be time traveling as well.
My friend is with her Mom and another friend. I get a huge hug from her Mom. She wants to know how my Mom is doing.
She wants to help in anyway that she can. Everyone wants to right now.
There's, unfortunately, not much that anyone can do.
Eventually, it is just me and my friend at the bar. We finish the pitcher of cheap beer and head back to her place.
Even though it is after midnight, it is very warm in St. Louis. We sit on her back patio next to a row of deflated kiddie pools that she and her friends sat in all day.
We talk about work, life, and all of the funny things that are going on with the mutual friends that we have.
I watch fireflys dance around her back yard while off in the distance, I can see the heat lightening spark across the sky.
It is serenity.
My friend in St. Louis has invited me to crash in her place for the night and then I can get up at the crack of dawn to get on the road.
It will almost make the drive bearable.
I check out of the hotel and put my bag in the car. It is going to be the first time that I get to drive the new Jeep for any significant length of time.
I check in with "The Kids" before I leave. I'm a little nervous about leaving them on their own. I feel better because Claudette will be around but I'm going to make this trip as quickly as possible.
My Mom is already in bed. She is, as they say here, plum tuckered.
She's making me put a note in my pocket with Jack's phone number as my ICE number.
I'm surprised she's not asking me to pin it to my shirt.
I tell them that I'll be back around 7:00 p.m.
The drive to St. Louis is a nice one. I get plenty of time to think about what we've done so far on this trip. It is pretty amazing that just 16 dayts ago, I had no idea that this was going to be happening.
I meet my friend at the her local bar. Walking in, I see a cigarette vending machine next to the front door. I knew I was going far away on this trip but I had no idea i was going to be time traveling as well.
My friend is with her Mom and another friend. I get a huge hug from her Mom. She wants to know how my Mom is doing.
She wants to help in anyway that she can. Everyone wants to right now.
There's, unfortunately, not much that anyone can do.
Eventually, it is just me and my friend at the bar. We finish the pitcher of cheap beer and head back to her place.
Even though it is after midnight, it is very warm in St. Louis. We sit on her back patio next to a row of deflated kiddie pools that she and her friends sat in all day.
We talk about work, life, and all of the funny things that are going on with the mutual friends that we have.
I watch fireflys dance around her back yard while off in the distance, I can see the heat lightening spark across the sky.
It is serenity.
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Part Eight
I've only seen two sets of pictures of Pearl Hatley, my great grandmother.
One of them was up in a place of honor in my grandma's house. She was alone in a open field wearing a burgandy dress with her all white hair pulled back into a bun.
The other were pictures from her funeral back when I was ten.
My mom came home to Missouri at that time with my grandma for the services.
It was an open casket and my grandma wanted pictures of her.
My mom got the pictures developed and let me see them upon her return.
They freaked me out.
The lighting was just off in the pictures giving everything a spooky pink hue.
And there was a dead person in the pictures.
Claudette tells a story about one cousin at the funeral. The others compare him to Rain Man.
He asked Claudette to touch Great Grandma Hatley in her casket so she did that for him.
Then he asked, "Was she cold???"
Everyone at the table has a good laugh.
Today, I'm also getting to hear the stories of what she was like.
32 years after she left this world, there is still a lot of love for her here.
I get other stories too.
One about the time where Uncle Junior had a wreck and done lost his teeth.
Another about another relative that was "lucky he didn't wake up dead one day."
They ask me and my life and I share what I can.
I show pictures of my children, Madeline and Everett, and the lone male cousin that is present takes a look at my boy and exclaims "That there is a real piss cutter!"
I have to ask if it is a good thing (spoiler alert: it is!).
The conversation eventually turns to my Mom's present condition. I'm in a room full of nurses. They all know what is going to happen. One of them describes what it is like to work with an ALS patient.
I get up to use the restroom.
If I'm gone long enough, the topic will change.
And when I return, the conversation returns to me.
My Mom and Jack tell everyone how I want to go to Marceline for the day but that we were unable to rent a car.
Claudette offers to loan me her car.
I am floored.
I can't do that.
Instead, we agree that Claudette will pick up my Mom and Jack tomorrow and spend the day together and I'll take the car to Marceline.
It's confirmed. I'm going to visit Walt Disney's hometown.
I couldn't be more thrilled.
Eventually, my Mom gets all visited out and is ready to go. Claudette's daughter has brought us a lift belt and we are going to try to use it for the first time.
three of us carry my Mom down the stairs and we have her ready to get into the car.
Claudette tries to get the lift belt on her and we try to lift my Mom up.
We don't have it on tight enough. It isn't working.
Jack calls an immediate end to using the lift belt.
He is being very protective of my Mom.
That makes me happy.
We get my Mom in the car and everyone says their goodbyes to her.
Linda, who first noticed that I looked like her father, gives my Mom a big hug and starts to tear up.
She looks at me with those tears in her eyes and says, "Take care of your mama."
I will, Linda.
I will.
Jack and I get into the car too and we are ready to go.
Jim leans into the driver side window and says "Y'all come back here, ya hear!" with a laugh. "That's as South as I'll ever get!"
We head back to the hotel laughing.
And that's the way I like it.
One of them was up in a place of honor in my grandma's house. She was alone in a open field wearing a burgandy dress with her all white hair pulled back into a bun.
The other were pictures from her funeral back when I was ten.
My mom came home to Missouri at that time with my grandma for the services.
It was an open casket and my grandma wanted pictures of her.
My mom got the pictures developed and let me see them upon her return.
They freaked me out.
The lighting was just off in the pictures giving everything a spooky pink hue.
And there was a dead person in the pictures.
Claudette tells a story about one cousin at the funeral. The others compare him to Rain Man.
He asked Claudette to touch Great Grandma Hatley in her casket so she did that for him.
Then he asked, "Was she cold???"
Everyone at the table has a good laugh.
Today, I'm also getting to hear the stories of what she was like.
32 years after she left this world, there is still a lot of love for her here.
I get other stories too.
One about the time where Uncle Junior had a wreck and done lost his teeth.
Another about another relative that was "lucky he didn't wake up dead one day."
They ask me and my life and I share what I can.
I show pictures of my children, Madeline and Everett, and the lone male cousin that is present takes a look at my boy and exclaims "That there is a real piss cutter!"
I have to ask if it is a good thing (spoiler alert: it is!).
The conversation eventually turns to my Mom's present condition. I'm in a room full of nurses. They all know what is going to happen. One of them describes what it is like to work with an ALS patient.
I get up to use the restroom.
If I'm gone long enough, the topic will change.
And when I return, the conversation returns to me.
My Mom and Jack tell everyone how I want to go to Marceline for the day but that we were unable to rent a car.
Claudette offers to loan me her car.
I am floored.
I can't do that.
Instead, we agree that Claudette will pick up my Mom and Jack tomorrow and spend the day together and I'll take the car to Marceline.
It's confirmed. I'm going to visit Walt Disney's hometown.
I couldn't be more thrilled.
Eventually, my Mom gets all visited out and is ready to go. Claudette's daughter has brought us a lift belt and we are going to try to use it for the first time.
three of us carry my Mom down the stairs and we have her ready to get into the car.
Claudette tries to get the lift belt on her and we try to lift my Mom up.
We don't have it on tight enough. It isn't working.
Jack calls an immediate end to using the lift belt.
He is being very protective of my Mom.
That makes me happy.
We get my Mom in the car and everyone says their goodbyes to her.
Linda, who first noticed that I looked like her father, gives my Mom a big hug and starts to tear up.
She looks at me with those tears in her eyes and says, "Take care of your mama."
I will, Linda.
I will.
Jack and I get into the car too and we are ready to go.
Jim leans into the driver side window and says "Y'all come back here, ya hear!" with a laugh. "That's as South as I'll ever get!"
We head back to the hotel laughing.
And that's the way I like it.
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Part Seven
Linda has just let the genie out of the bottle.
Once she told me that I look like her daddy, Claude, others start to concur with her.
I look to my Mom and ask her.
She smiles her now pixie-ish smile and says, "Yes, I didn't really see it before but you look like the Hatley men. Especially Uncle Claude and Uncle Junior."
I look back to Linda. She's looking still looking at me with disbelief.
Are her eyes watering up?
I can't totally tell but she might be on the verge of tearing up on me.
What a sweet, sweet moment. I'm so happy that I'm here.
Linda gets engaged with another part of the conversation and the moment evaporates.
I'll never forget it.
I need to see a picture of Uncle Claude.
Before I know it, Claudette's attention turns back to me.
"John, I accidentally found your blog last night."
I hold my breath.
"I liked it!"
I can exhale.
She tells me that she found it because one of my aunts had posted it on facebook for others to read and then she realized that I was the person writing it. She even read some of it to her husband, Jim.
Jim hears this and gets a big smile on his face. It's clear he's enjoyed what he's heard or read so far.
"I can't believe you remember all of this stuff happening."
Sheepishly, I explain that I'm taking this all in.
I don't know if people realize this but every single moment of this trip is vital for me.
This is it for me. The time for creating memories with my Mom is coming to an abrupt and unexpected end.
Every. Moment. Matters.
I'm glad they liked it. I would have stopped making this public if they didn't.
The conversation turns away from me and shifts to catching up about family that aren't present and family that is no longer with us.
The conversation turns once again to my Grandma, Juanita New.
Now yesterday, we were laughing about her ceramic chicken that she always referred to her "18 inch cock." Today, my mom tells another ribald story about my Grandma.
Later in life, my grandma suffered from dementia. She had to be taken care of my her daughters. One time, one of them was trying to get her into the car and get her seat belt fastened.
For whatever reason, they were struggling to get the seat belt latched.
In a momoent of clarity from the dementia, my grandma cracked this joke.
"Well, just put some hair around that hole and you'll be able to stick it in."
I can't stop laughing.
Once she told me that I look like her daddy, Claude, others start to concur with her.
I look to my Mom and ask her.
She smiles her now pixie-ish smile and says, "Yes, I didn't really see it before but you look like the Hatley men. Especially Uncle Claude and Uncle Junior."
I look back to Linda. She's looking still looking at me with disbelief.
Are her eyes watering up?
I can't totally tell but she might be on the verge of tearing up on me.
What a sweet, sweet moment. I'm so happy that I'm here.
Linda gets engaged with another part of the conversation and the moment evaporates.
I'll never forget it.
I need to see a picture of Uncle Claude.
Before I know it, Claudette's attention turns back to me.
"John, I accidentally found your blog last night."
I hold my breath.
"I liked it!"
I can exhale.
She tells me that she found it because one of my aunts had posted it on facebook for others to read and then she realized that I was the person writing it. She even read some of it to her husband, Jim.
Jim hears this and gets a big smile on his face. It's clear he's enjoyed what he's heard or read so far.
"I can't believe you remember all of this stuff happening."
Sheepishly, I explain that I'm taking this all in.
I don't know if people realize this but every single moment of this trip is vital for me.
This is it for me. The time for creating memories with my Mom is coming to an abrupt and unexpected end.
Every. Moment. Matters.
I'm glad they liked it. I would have stopped making this public if they didn't.
The conversation turns away from me and shifts to catching up about family that aren't present and family that is no longer with us.
The conversation turns once again to my Grandma, Juanita New.
Now yesterday, we were laughing about her ceramic chicken that she always referred to her "18 inch cock." Today, my mom tells another ribald story about my Grandma.
Later in life, my grandma suffered from dementia. She had to be taken care of my her daughters. One time, one of them was trying to get her into the car and get her seat belt fastened.
For whatever reason, they were struggling to get the seat belt latched.
In a momoent of clarity from the dementia, my grandma cracked this joke.
"Well, just put some hair around that hole and you'll be able to stick it in."
I can't stop laughing.
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Part Six
While this was my first time in Claudette's house, this all seemed so familiar to me.
We get invited into Claudette's kitchen and we take seats around a large dining table. To accomodate my Mom, we push out the table just a bit so she has room for her legs at the table.
Food starts flying to the table as Claudette acts as a one woman bucket line to get everything on there.
Large bowl of cold fried chicken.
Another bowl of some sort of fried fish (catfish?).
Both regular salad and potato salad.
My diet is going out the window today and I'm okay with it.
This is the type of food that I would have eaten at my grandmother's house as a child.
I don't eat this type of food anymore. I don't seek it out.
But eating this food today is less about taking in fuel.
Eat bite opens up a flood of memories. I can see my grandma fluttering around the kitchen trying to get a huge dinner on the table for all of us.
I haven't thought about Grandma New in a long time.
As lunch begins, so does the arrival of cousins.
Like the invasion at Normandy beach, the cousins keep arriving in waves.
It seems like they never stop arriving.
I can't keep track of who everyone is. I need a scorecard to keep track of everyone.
I've never met them before but they ALL look familiar. I can see the traits that run in my Mom's side of the family. I can pick out which ones look like my the cousins or the aunts that I know.
The majority of the cousins arriving come from my grandma's brother, Claude. I'm still not sure how many children Claude and his wife, Ruth, had but it was in the double digits.
At one point, one of the cousins tells a story that Ruth said she didn't enjoy sex. The punchline was "Well, sombody liked it because she was pregnant for darn near twenty years!"
Another interesting thing happens while we are sitting on the table.
With more cousins arriving than what they have seats for, the cousins rotate on their own so each one of them has the opportunity to sit with myself, my Mom, and Jack. I don't even think they notice that they are doing this. If somebody gets up from a chair, that chair is open and another cousin will take the spot and fill the void.
Another cousin, Linda, arrives and takes a seat next to me. We are introduced and I recognize something in her eyes.
She just did what I've been doing with all of them. She looked at me and saw something VERY familiar.
"John, I can't believe it but you look just like my Daddy."
We get invited into Claudette's kitchen and we take seats around a large dining table. To accomodate my Mom, we push out the table just a bit so she has room for her legs at the table.
Food starts flying to the table as Claudette acts as a one woman bucket line to get everything on there.
Large bowl of cold fried chicken.
Another bowl of some sort of fried fish (catfish?).
Both regular salad and potato salad.
My diet is going out the window today and I'm okay with it.
This is the type of food that I would have eaten at my grandmother's house as a child.
I don't eat this type of food anymore. I don't seek it out.
But eating this food today is less about taking in fuel.
Eat bite opens up a flood of memories. I can see my grandma fluttering around the kitchen trying to get a huge dinner on the table for all of us.
I haven't thought about Grandma New in a long time.
As lunch begins, so does the arrival of cousins.
Like the invasion at Normandy beach, the cousins keep arriving in waves.
It seems like they never stop arriving.
I can't keep track of who everyone is. I need a scorecard to keep track of everyone.
I've never met them before but they ALL look familiar. I can see the traits that run in my Mom's side of the family. I can pick out which ones look like my the cousins or the aunts that I know.
The majority of the cousins arriving come from my grandma's brother, Claude. I'm still not sure how many children Claude and his wife, Ruth, had but it was in the double digits.
At one point, one of the cousins tells a story that Ruth said she didn't enjoy sex. The punchline was "Well, sombody liked it because she was pregnant for darn near twenty years!"
Another interesting thing happens while we are sitting on the table.
With more cousins arriving than what they have seats for, the cousins rotate on their own so each one of them has the opportunity to sit with myself, my Mom, and Jack. I don't even think they notice that they are doing this. If somebody gets up from a chair, that chair is open and another cousin will take the spot and fill the void.
Another cousin, Linda, arrives and takes a seat next to me. We are introduced and I recognize something in her eyes.
She just did what I've been doing with all of them. She looked at me and saw something VERY familiar.
"John, I can't believe it but you look just like my Daddy."
Monday, May 28, 2012
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Part Five
My Mom had thought that all of her relatives were going to have to come visit her at her hotel room.
She didn't think that anyone had a house that could accomodate her wheelchair.
Her cousin Claudette assured her that it wouldn't being an issue coming over to her house and her cousing Mike promised to "drag her ass anywhere around that house."
So after getting ready this morning, it was off to Claudette's and I was really looking forward to it.
At lunch yesterday, Claudette proved to be what I would call a hoot. She had multiple lines that cracked me up. When asked how she was doing, she exclaimed "Fatandsassy" (as if it was all one word). While we were all drinking at the mexican restaurant, she said that if she had anymore to drink she "wouldn't be able to find her ass with both hands."
I can't even express how important it is to me to be able to laugh and have fun while we are dealing with my mom's prognosis. I would bet that a huge part of her being a great nurse is that sense of humor that she has on at all times (or at least the short amount of time that I've spent with her).
Before heading over to her place, we tried to stop by an Enterprise location to see about renting me a car so I could drive into Marceline tomorrow. I was so looking forward to visting the town that Main Street, USA was based on. Unfortunately, I hadn't called ahead and when we go to the office, it was closed for the Memorial Day holiday.
It looks like I might be out of luck.
We got back on the road and it was about twenty minutes before we arrived at Claudette's place. We weren't totally sure exactly where her place was even though my Mom new the general direction.
My Mom had me use her phone to call Claudette when it was apparent that we drive just a bit to far.
We turned back around and were heading down her street when we saw her husband, Jim, standing in the middle of the street a little over a block away to make sure we knew exactly where we needed to go.
Jim waved us into the driveway like a ground service agent at the airport bringing a plane into gate.
We got my Mom out of the car and into the wheelchair pretty quickly. It is never going to be pretty but I always imagine Jack and myself as a two-man NASCAR pit crew getting my Mom and her wheelchair ready for action.
Coming into Claudette and Jim's house, I think both Jack and I paused as we saw the situation. To get my Mom into the kitchen where lunch was being served, we were going to have to lift her up the three steps directly in front of us.
Jack and I both looked at Claudette as if to ask how we were going to do this.
Claudette seem to sense our discomfort with this and ordered us to pick her up and carry her up the stairs.
Jack to the lead in front of us and Claudette and I were working on the other side. It was awkward for me and my full weight came down on Claudette's foot (which I felt terrible about, especially since she told us about a problem with her foot that she had recently had. I don't know which is worse: steping on the good foot or the bad one???).
Claudette didn't yell out in pain. We were all focused on getting my Mom up the stairs.
But once we had her up the stairs, Claudette said that I "had just step on her foot and she was fixing to bust my ass."
It was truly said in the warmest way possible.
The kind of way that you only say to family.
She didn't think that anyone had a house that could accomodate her wheelchair.
Her cousin Claudette assured her that it wouldn't being an issue coming over to her house and her cousing Mike promised to "drag her ass anywhere around that house."
So after getting ready this morning, it was off to Claudette's and I was really looking forward to it.
At lunch yesterday, Claudette proved to be what I would call a hoot. She had multiple lines that cracked me up. When asked how she was doing, she exclaimed "Fatandsassy" (as if it was all one word). While we were all drinking at the mexican restaurant, she said that if she had anymore to drink she "wouldn't be able to find her ass with both hands."
I can't even express how important it is to me to be able to laugh and have fun while we are dealing with my mom's prognosis. I would bet that a huge part of her being a great nurse is that sense of humor that she has on at all times (or at least the short amount of time that I've spent with her).
Before heading over to her place, we tried to stop by an Enterprise location to see about renting me a car so I could drive into Marceline tomorrow. I was so looking forward to visting the town that Main Street, USA was based on. Unfortunately, I hadn't called ahead and when we go to the office, it was closed for the Memorial Day holiday.
It looks like I might be out of luck.
We got back on the road and it was about twenty minutes before we arrived at Claudette's place. We weren't totally sure exactly where her place was even though my Mom new the general direction.
My Mom had me use her phone to call Claudette when it was apparent that we drive just a bit to far.
We turned back around and were heading down her street when we saw her husband, Jim, standing in the middle of the street a little over a block away to make sure we knew exactly where we needed to go.
Jim waved us into the driveway like a ground service agent at the airport bringing a plane into gate.
We got my Mom out of the car and into the wheelchair pretty quickly. It is never going to be pretty but I always imagine Jack and myself as a two-man NASCAR pit crew getting my Mom and her wheelchair ready for action.
Coming into Claudette and Jim's house, I think both Jack and I paused as we saw the situation. To get my Mom into the kitchen where lunch was being served, we were going to have to lift her up the three steps directly in front of us.
Jack and I both looked at Claudette as if to ask how we were going to do this.
Claudette seem to sense our discomfort with this and ordered us to pick her up and carry her up the stairs.
Jack to the lead in front of us and Claudette and I were working on the other side. It was awkward for me and my full weight came down on Claudette's foot (which I felt terrible about, especially since she told us about a problem with her foot that she had recently had. I don't know which is worse: steping on the good foot or the bad one???).
Claudette didn't yell out in pain. We were all focused on getting my Mom up the stairs.
But once we had her up the stairs, Claudette said that I "had just step on her foot and she was fixing to bust my ass."
It was truly said in the warmest way possible.
The kind of way that you only say to family.
Day 10 - Sikeston, MO - Part Four
Priscilla works pretty much non-stop while performing a running monologue to anyone that will listen.
She's the hostess that works in the self-serve breakfast area at the hotel we are staying at.
Priscilla isn't a tall or large woman but because of her energy level, she does have a commanding presence about her.
I'm having breakfast by myself in this room and I can't help but watch her. She's running an obstacle course and never stops to take a break. First, she's at the coffee station. Then, BOOM, she's reloading scrambled eggs and biscuits. Gives a quick stir to the gravy before moving on the fix the automatic pancake maker. With all of the food and beverage items in good shape, she moves on to bussing tables and sweeping the floor.
She goes in the back to wash her hands and returns to start the whole pattern all over again.
She's operating in a 15 minute cycle.
Now while she is doing this, she is chatting with everyone.
Using laughter as a period for all of her sentences.
There's classic rock playing loudly from the back. I've been in a few Holiday Inn Express' over the last 10 days but usually all you can hear is FOX News.
I quickly realize that it is because it is Priscilla's radio.
"We're closing up in ten minutes, folks! I hope you've had enough to eat because I gotta pack it up!" announces Priscilla.
A Journey song comes on while she is near me and she says, "I just LOVE Journey."
"Journey or Steve Perry?" I ask.
"Oh, I loved Steve Perry! That voice! The long hair. Those tight slacks! He was so cute!"
"So you don't like the new Filippino lead singer for Journey? He sounds just like him, right?"
Priscilla will have none of that.
"That new lead singer is NO STEVE PERRY! He may sound a LITTLE like him but honey, nobody can replace Steve Perry. NOBODY!"
Laughter punctuates that last nobody.
We go on to talk about bands that were in the hey day between 1980 and 1981. She's listing off album names and describing the artwork.
She knows her shit.
More than anything, she is having a great time at work and she loves her music. The old manager wouldn't let her listen to the radio but the new manager is more open to it. She really likes working for her.
She tells me that she likes her job. She gets to meet people from all over. And she's done with work by 11:00 a.m. every day.
I pack up my stuff and wish her a good day.
She laughs and says "Remember, you can't replace Steve Perry!"
I'll remember.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Day 9 - Sikeston, MO - Part Three
Lunch turned about to be fantastic but it definitely came at a price.
With my Mom feeling really good and having a good buzz going myself, I'm worried about getting her back into the car.
We have discovered that when my Mom has had a couple of adult beverages, it is really difficult to get her into her seat.
She just becomes dead weight that can't help me at all.
I'm on my own.
She's also wearing a dress which means that there is no waistband to grab on to from behind.
I place my arms around her and give her a huge bear hug.
I go to lift and I know I'm in trouble.
I get her up but I haven't gotten enough of her on her seat.
She's sliding out.
I go to push her in
It only serves to knock her over.
Claudette tells Mike to get over to the driver side and pull her in.
He springs into action and helps me get her in.
It's nearly 100 degrees in Missouri. I'm sweating and breathing hard.
I'm going to need a nap.
Claudette pulls me aside and tells me that she is going to get us somethings that will make this easier.
I'm looking forward to that.
Because this is only going to get more difficult.
With my Mom feeling really good and having a good buzz going myself, I'm worried about getting her back into the car.
We have discovered that when my Mom has had a couple of adult beverages, it is really difficult to get her into her seat.
She just becomes dead weight that can't help me at all.
I'm on my own.
She's also wearing a dress which means that there is no waistband to grab on to from behind.
I place my arms around her and give her a huge bear hug.
I go to lift and I know I'm in trouble.
I get her up but I haven't gotten enough of her on her seat.
She's sliding out.
I go to push her in
It only serves to knock her over.
Claudette tells Mike to get over to the driver side and pull her in.
He springs into action and helps me get her in.
It's nearly 100 degrees in Missouri. I'm sweating and breathing hard.
I'm going to need a nap.
Claudette pulls me aside and tells me that she is going to get us somethings that will make this easier.
I'm looking forward to that.
Because this is only going to get more difficult.
Day 9 - Sikeston, MO - Part Two
The best part about having a nurse in your family is that they've got no issue helping you change if you need to.
I stop outside the room while my mom's cousin helps get my mom ready to go out to lunch.
I'll make sure that nobody else walks in.
While I'm waiting out there, her other cousin, Mike, and his wife come up to me in the hallway.
It is clear that my mom has been sharing pictures because he recognizes me immediately.
I introduce myself and let them know that my mom is getting presentable.
He's got questons for me about my mom.
I spend some time giving Mike and his wife the details of the three weeks since the diagnosis was made.
He is dumbfounded. He can't believe that she is in a wheelchair now.
We get the okay to return to the room and the three cousins are back together again.
And while the accents are certainly different from mine, a funny things happens to me immediately.
We may started the day as strangers; relatives in the abstract.
These cousins were definitely becoming my family.
We get everyone loaded into cars and we drive off to lunch.
Our original destination was too busy so we settle for a Mexican place just a little ways down the road.
My Mom is happy, she'll be able to have margaritas (that's right, I used the plural).
The conversation is great and I'm here to get more stories about my mom.
Mike asks me how old am I.
"42," I reply.
He says to me "Your ears aren't ready to hear the stories about your Mother."
The language during the lunch conversation is exceptionally cclorful.
I find out what my Mom's nickname was when she was born (it's a nickname that I can't divulge but rest assured, it made me laugh to the point of tears).
My Mom apologizes to the two cousins for not being able to come over to their houses to visit because they aren't wheelchair accessible. Mike says "Don't worry, hon. You can come over and I'll just drag your ass to the couch!"
The conversation quicly turns blue.
One cousin is explaining how well she is doing with directions.
My Mom starts laughing because she thinks she said that she is doing well with erections.
When Claudette burns her fingers on a hot plate, she exclaimed "SHIT THE BED. THAT IS HOT!"
My Mom takes it to a whole different level when she starts talking about her momthers foot and half tall ceramic rooster that she always referred to as her "18 inch cock."
It really is that type of lunch.
As hard as she was crying just a couple hours ago, she is laughing now equally as hard.
I am so happy that we've brought her back to see her family at least one last time.
I stop outside the room while my mom's cousin helps get my mom ready to go out to lunch.
I'll make sure that nobody else walks in.
While I'm waiting out there, her other cousin, Mike, and his wife come up to me in the hallway.
It is clear that my mom has been sharing pictures because he recognizes me immediately.
I introduce myself and let them know that my mom is getting presentable.
He's got questons for me about my mom.
I spend some time giving Mike and his wife the details of the three weeks since the diagnosis was made.
He is dumbfounded. He can't believe that she is in a wheelchair now.
We get the okay to return to the room and the three cousins are back together again.
And while the accents are certainly different from mine, a funny things happens to me immediately.
We may started the day as strangers; relatives in the abstract.
These cousins were definitely becoming my family.
We get everyone loaded into cars and we drive off to lunch.
Our original destination was too busy so we settle for a Mexican place just a little ways down the road.
My Mom is happy, she'll be able to have margaritas (that's right, I used the plural).
The conversation is great and I'm here to get more stories about my mom.
Mike asks me how old am I.
"42," I reply.
He says to me "Your ears aren't ready to hear the stories about your Mother."
The language during the lunch conversation is exceptionally cclorful.
I find out what my Mom's nickname was when she was born (it's a nickname that I can't divulge but rest assured, it made me laugh to the point of tears).
My Mom apologizes to the two cousins for not being able to come over to their houses to visit because they aren't wheelchair accessible. Mike says "Don't worry, hon. You can come over and I'll just drag your ass to the couch!"
The conversation quicly turns blue.
One cousin is explaining how well she is doing with directions.
My Mom starts laughing because she thinks she said that she is doing well with erections.
When Claudette burns her fingers on a hot plate, she exclaimed "SHIT THE BED. THAT IS HOT!"
My Mom takes it to a whole different level when she starts talking about her momthers foot and half tall ceramic rooster that she always referred to as her "18 inch cock."
It really is that type of lunch.
As hard as she was crying just a couple hours ago, she is laughing now equally as hard.
I am so happy that we've brought her back to see her family at least one last time.
Day 9 - Sikeston, MO - Part One
"People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home." - Dagobert Runes
It's 11:30 a.m before "The Kids" are ready to do anything. Being Sunday morning, they are in their familiar routine of the morning news shows and grazing for breakfast.
I've spent the morning working out and wondering what it was going to be like meeting her cousins.
Apparently, I've met some of them before right after my grandmother's funeral services. But I really have no memory of that. I should. But I don't.
I wonder how this is all going to go. Will there be a connection with these folks.
I go down to my Mom and Jack's room to wait for the cousins to arrive. Unfortunately, we can't go to their homes to visit. There's just no way that we could either get in the house with my mom's wheelchair or the restroom if she needed to use it.
Jack makes plans with me to do a little shopping once the cousins start arriving. My mom stays propped up in bed waitng for her visitors.
Her first cousin arrives and you can see my mom light up.
And it is because this cousin lights up a room when she walks it it.
Claudette gives my mom a hug, introduces us to her husband, and then the, as my grandfather would have called it, "hen party" begins.
She can't get over how much my Mom looks like Aunt Juanita (my grandmother).
She's clearly excited to see my mom and my mom is just as excited to see her.
They spend a lot of time catching up while the men in the room fade into the background. Jack eventually leaves to hit the errands that he wants to accomplish this morning. The husband of Mom's cousin also bows out for a while.
But I stay.
They say that your cousins are your first friends and it is clear to me that this is the case here. There is geniune affection coming and going both ways here.
She is a nurse and inevitably the conversation turns to the state that my mom is in.
Now I know daily that my Mom has had crying episodes. I mean, who wouldn't in her situation?
But I hadn't seen it yet.
Today, while with her cousin. I finally see a break in her composure.
And it tears me up.
Her cousin comforts her and my mom pulls it together.
This is why we came all of this way.
She needed her family.
She needed to be with her first friend.
It's 11:30 a.m before "The Kids" are ready to do anything. Being Sunday morning, they are in their familiar routine of the morning news shows and grazing for breakfast.
I've spent the morning working out and wondering what it was going to be like meeting her cousins.
Apparently, I've met some of them before right after my grandmother's funeral services. But I really have no memory of that. I should. But I don't.
I wonder how this is all going to go. Will there be a connection with these folks.
I go down to my Mom and Jack's room to wait for the cousins to arrive. Unfortunately, we can't go to their homes to visit. There's just no way that we could either get in the house with my mom's wheelchair or the restroom if she needed to use it.
Jack makes plans with me to do a little shopping once the cousins start arriving. My mom stays propped up in bed waitng for her visitors.
Her first cousin arrives and you can see my mom light up.
And it is because this cousin lights up a room when she walks it it.
Claudette gives my mom a hug, introduces us to her husband, and then the, as my grandfather would have called it, "hen party" begins.
She can't get over how much my Mom looks like Aunt Juanita (my grandmother).
She's clearly excited to see my mom and my mom is just as excited to see her.
They spend a lot of time catching up while the men in the room fade into the background. Jack eventually leaves to hit the errands that he wants to accomplish this morning. The husband of Mom's cousin also bows out for a while.
But I stay.
They say that your cousins are your first friends and it is clear to me that this is the case here. There is geniune affection coming and going both ways here.
She is a nurse and inevitably the conversation turns to the state that my mom is in.
Now I know daily that my Mom has had crying episodes. I mean, who wouldn't in her situation?
But I hadn't seen it yet.
Today, while with her cousin. I finally see a break in her composure.
And it tears me up.
Her cousin comforts her and my mom pulls it together.
This is why we came all of this way.
She needed her family.
She needed to be with her first friend.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Day 8 - Sikeston, MO - Conclusion
Our drive today was our shortest one of the trip. Only a little over two hours in the car.
We are in Sikeston, Missouri. It is small town America and is currently "famous" for being the home of the 2008 winner of America's Got Talent.
And it isn't Missouri here. It's Missourah. At least that's how I hear it.
Driving around today, I saw a mix of new buildings and businesses as well as properties that have been abandoned. Both the town and the people look a little rough around the edges.
And this is where my Mom's family is from. Some of her cousins are still in the area and hopefully, we'll see them over the next few days.
I'm out on a shopping excursion for my mom. The Kids have checked into the hotel and she is resting for the remainder of the day.
But we need to pick up some things.
We are going to be staying here for a couple of days.
First stop is Walgreens.
When you lose the ability to move on your own, there are products that you need (without getting to graphic) because accidents happen.
So I have to pick up things that, othewise, might be embarrassing to purchase.
But when you are in this situation, you could care less.
I just want to get the things that will help her and make her more comfortable.
Wal*Mart is next on the list.
And this is going to be the first time that I buy an outfit for her.
We need to get her a couple of dresses. Summer is here in Missourah. I need to get her something that is more comfortable and easy to get on and off.
I find a couple dresses that I think look nice for her and head to the checkout line.
When I return to the hotel, I make a big show out of everything that I've purchased and then I leave for the night.
A little later, they text me to pick up something for dinner.
Tonight, it is ice cream sandwiches.
I can't think of a better thing to have for dinner.
My Mom and Jack both thank me for doing all that. I don't think they get it that I should be thanking them.
This is a trip of a lifetime.
I will remember everything about it forever.
We are in Sikeston, Missouri. It is small town America and is currently "famous" for being the home of the 2008 winner of America's Got Talent.
And it isn't Missouri here. It's Missourah. At least that's how I hear it.
Driving around today, I saw a mix of new buildings and businesses as well as properties that have been abandoned. Both the town and the people look a little rough around the edges.
And this is where my Mom's family is from. Some of her cousins are still in the area and hopefully, we'll see them over the next few days.
I'm out on a shopping excursion for my mom. The Kids have checked into the hotel and she is resting for the remainder of the day.
But we need to pick up some things.
We are going to be staying here for a couple of days.
First stop is Walgreens.
When you lose the ability to move on your own, there are products that you need (without getting to graphic) because accidents happen.
So I have to pick up things that, othewise, might be embarrassing to purchase.
But when you are in this situation, you could care less.
I just want to get the things that will help her and make her more comfortable.
Wal*Mart is next on the list.
And this is going to be the first time that I buy an outfit for her.
We need to get her a couple of dresses. Summer is here in Missourah. I need to get her something that is more comfortable and easy to get on and off.
I find a couple dresses that I think look nice for her and head to the checkout line.
When I return to the hotel, I make a big show out of everything that I've purchased and then I leave for the night.
A little later, they text me to pick up something for dinner.
Tonight, it is ice cream sandwiches.
I can't think of a better thing to have for dinner.
My Mom and Jack both thank me for doing all that. I don't think they get it that I should be thanking them.
This is a trip of a lifetime.
I will remember everything about it forever.
Day 8 - Sikeston, MO - Part One
There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Day 8 - St. Louis, MO to Sikeston, MO - Daily Distance 143 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 2190 miles
Most of the time, it has been nice to fly by the seat of our pants on this trip. It has provided us exceptional flexibility with our plans.
Today, it bites us a little in the butt.
We had decided to stay another night in St. Louis but our hotel is sold out over the holiday weekend.
We are going to move on.
But before we go, we decide to go to Pappy's Smokehouse.
My friends from St. Louis have said "YOU HAVE TO GO THERE! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT GOING!"
I threw out the suggestion to The Kids and my Mom was up for it.
So we checked out the hotel and headed over to Pappy's.
Now, I was told to expect a line.
I was shocked to see how long it was.
We get in line and within 10 minutes are inside the building. And now we can see how long the line truly is.
We are going to be here for a while.
Both Jack and myself ask my Mom if she really wants this.
She does.
We start to hear rumblings that the line is going to be at least an hour.
At that point, Jack taps out.
He can't do an hour in line and heads back to the car.
I ask my Mom if she still wants to stay.
She nods forcefully.
SHE.
WANTS.
BBQ.
We continue to wait and as we doubleback in line, you can't help but make "line friends." I'm wearing a pretty sweet Millenium Falcon t-shirt that four of the other guys in line compliment.
Many people in line are here for the first time. Everyone is determined to try these ribs.
We make it to the end of the FIRST PART of the queue and it's there where some amazing guest service takes place.
The hostess sees that my Mom is in a wheelchair and invites us to immediately take a seat. Now normally, you still would have another 15 to 20 minute line to wait in before you can place your order at a counter.
Now we can relax and one of the employees came by to take our order.
The food comes out super quick and I help my mom get set up to eat it.
I'm placing napkins all over her to catch was she's unable to get into her mouth.
I'm cutting up her ribs so that she could easily pick them up.
And I go get her an ice tea and her straw.
At least 4 of the employees come by to check on us and make sure that everything is okay and that we are enjoying lunch.
The food was phenomenal but the level of service during at this high volume location is mind-blowing.
I'm trying to finish my meal as quickly as possible so I can help my Mom finish hers.
Since Jack isn't here, I'm going to have to help feed her.
If she can eat with her hands, she's good.
Once she has to use a spoon or a fork, it is much tougher for her.
I grab her fork and start feeding her. It is surprising natural to do.
I have to pause after a couple of bites. I feel my back begin to spasm.
My back can not go out.
I take a seat and wait for the pain in my back to go away.
The employees come by to clear our table. An older guy that works here comes up to check on us too.
I ask him if he is the manager and he tells me he is one of the owners.
I let him know what a good experience we had and how much I appreciated the help that we got from his employees.
The compliment leaves him swollen with pride and he invites us to come back any time.
Before leaving the restaurant, I take a moment to soak the experience in.
It is increasingly rare to spend any time with my Mom where it is just me and her.
I am going to miss this.
We are ready to go but we are going to have to swim upstream to get out of the place.
The hostess that allowed us to bypass part of the line sees the challenge that is ahead of us and hops off of her chair to clear the way. Wielding a surprisingly boooming voice for a petite girl, she clears our path.
"PRINCESS COMING THROUGH!!!"
Day 8 - St. Louis, MO to Sikeston, MO - Daily Distance 143 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 2190 miles
Most of the time, it has been nice to fly by the seat of our pants on this trip. It has provided us exceptional flexibility with our plans.
Today, it bites us a little in the butt.
We had decided to stay another night in St. Louis but our hotel is sold out over the holiday weekend.
We are going to move on.
But before we go, we decide to go to Pappy's Smokehouse.
My friends from St. Louis have said "YOU HAVE TO GO THERE! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT GOING!"
I threw out the suggestion to The Kids and my Mom was up for it.
So we checked out the hotel and headed over to Pappy's.
Now, I was told to expect a line.
I was shocked to see how long it was.
We get in line and within 10 minutes are inside the building. And now we can see how long the line truly is.
We are going to be here for a while.
Both Jack and myself ask my Mom if she really wants this.
She does.
We start to hear rumblings that the line is going to be at least an hour.
At that point, Jack taps out.
He can't do an hour in line and heads back to the car.
I ask my Mom if she still wants to stay.
She nods forcefully.
SHE.
WANTS.
BBQ.
We continue to wait and as we doubleback in line, you can't help but make "line friends." I'm wearing a pretty sweet Millenium Falcon t-shirt that four of the other guys in line compliment.
Many people in line are here for the first time. Everyone is determined to try these ribs.
We make it to the end of the FIRST PART of the queue and it's there where some amazing guest service takes place.
The hostess sees that my Mom is in a wheelchair and invites us to immediately take a seat. Now normally, you still would have another 15 to 20 minute line to wait in before you can place your order at a counter.
Now we can relax and one of the employees came by to take our order.
The food comes out super quick and I help my mom get set up to eat it.
I'm placing napkins all over her to catch was she's unable to get into her mouth.
I'm cutting up her ribs so that she could easily pick them up.
And I go get her an ice tea and her straw.
At least 4 of the employees come by to check on us and make sure that everything is okay and that we are enjoying lunch.
The food was phenomenal but the level of service during at this high volume location is mind-blowing.
I'm trying to finish my meal as quickly as possible so I can help my Mom finish hers.
Since Jack isn't here, I'm going to have to help feed her.
If she can eat with her hands, she's good.
Once she has to use a spoon or a fork, it is much tougher for her.
I grab her fork and start feeding her. It is surprising natural to do.
I have to pause after a couple of bites. I feel my back begin to spasm.
My back can not go out.
I take a seat and wait for the pain in my back to go away.
The employees come by to clear our table. An older guy that works here comes up to check on us too.
I ask him if he is the manager and he tells me he is one of the owners.
I let him know what a good experience we had and how much I appreciated the help that we got from his employees.
The compliment leaves him swollen with pride and he invites us to come back any time.
Before leaving the restaurant, I take a moment to soak the experience in.
It is increasingly rare to spend any time with my Mom where it is just me and her.
I am going to miss this.
We are ready to go but we are going to have to swim upstream to get out of the place.
The hostess that allowed us to bypass part of the line sees the challenge that is ahead of us and hops off of her chair to clear the way. Wielding a surprisingly boooming voice for a petite girl, she clears our path.
"PRINCESS COMING THROUGH!!!"
Day 7 - St. Louis, MO - Conclusion
After the kids go to bed, I am on my own until they need me the next morning.
If there is someone in town that I know, I want to see them.
I had the chance to connect with friends in Denver and now I was going to get to connect with my friend in St. Louis.
It's been a few months since I've seen her and I missed her on her last visit to Orange County. She sends me directions to her place and I head on over.
I'm liking visiting my friends in other cities. I may have to do this more often.
She introduces me to some of her friends and family who are over.
I get introduced as her friend from Anaheim. Her brother starts to look at me like I personally signed Albert to his contract with the Angels.
It's a friendly Friday night conversation over Bud Lights in the backyard.
And then I start seeing things that make me think I might be having a stroke.
Little flashes of light in the corners of vision. Gone before I can focus in on them.
"Are those fireflies?" I ask.
"You mean the lightening bugs? Yep, that's exactly what they are. You can catch one in a jar if you want."
The only time I've seen something like this is on Pirates of the Carribean.
This is summer in Missouri and it is beautiful.
The group of friends break up and my friend and I go to her neighborhood bar. She warns me that it is kind of like her "Cheers," everybody is going to know her name.
She wasn't lying.
We get a pitcher of beer and I watch as she reconnects with all of her friends.
It is Kareoke Night and most people performing are doing really well.
After killing the pitcher, we head over to her Mom's house. It has been a few years since she met me a single time but she's heard the story of The Bucket Trip and wants to help in any way she can.
We sit in their backyard chatting for a couple of hours with her Mom and Aunt. I switch to Diet Coke but accidently crack open my friends beer because it looked like a Coke Zero.
I share The Bucket Trip story to date. I'm able to tell it without getting emotional. Without breaking down and crying.
I'm getting better at holding it together.
The conversation goes off of my situation and moves on to other topics. It's nice not to have to talk about.
Before I know it, it gets really late. I'm not going to get much sleep tonight.
But that's okay, there's always time to sleep.
Once the Bucket Trip is over.
If there is someone in town that I know, I want to see them.
I had the chance to connect with friends in Denver and now I was going to get to connect with my friend in St. Louis.
It's been a few months since I've seen her and I missed her on her last visit to Orange County. She sends me directions to her place and I head on over.
I'm liking visiting my friends in other cities. I may have to do this more often.
She introduces me to some of her friends and family who are over.
I get introduced as her friend from Anaheim. Her brother starts to look at me like I personally signed Albert to his contract with the Angels.
It's a friendly Friday night conversation over Bud Lights in the backyard.
And then I start seeing things that make me think I might be having a stroke.
Little flashes of light in the corners of vision. Gone before I can focus in on them.
"Are those fireflies?" I ask.
"You mean the lightening bugs? Yep, that's exactly what they are. You can catch one in a jar if you want."
The only time I've seen something like this is on Pirates of the Carribean.
This is summer in Missouri and it is beautiful.
The group of friends break up and my friend and I go to her neighborhood bar. She warns me that it is kind of like her "Cheers," everybody is going to know her name.
She wasn't lying.
We get a pitcher of beer and I watch as she reconnects with all of her friends.
It is Kareoke Night and most people performing are doing really well.
After killing the pitcher, we head over to her Mom's house. It has been a few years since she met me a single time but she's heard the story of The Bucket Trip and wants to help in any way she can.
We sit in their backyard chatting for a couple of hours with her Mom and Aunt. I switch to Diet Coke but accidently crack open my friends beer because it looked like a Coke Zero.
I share The Bucket Trip story to date. I'm able to tell it without getting emotional. Without breaking down and crying.
I'm getting better at holding it together.
The conversation goes off of my situation and moves on to other topics. It's nice not to have to talk about.
Before I know it, it gets really late. I'm not going to get much sleep tonight.
But that's okay, there's always time to sleep.
Once the Bucket Trip is over.
Day 7 - St. Louis, MO - Part Three
St. Louis is my kind of city.
You can feel the baseball fever here. I've only felt this in two other places, Cooperstown and Boston.
But it is different here than in those places and I don't totally know how to describe it.
As we drive in, we see a billboard that proclaims Cardinal fans as "Baseball's Greatest Fans."
Jack, who is not a sports fan, asks about that statement. I share with him that St. Louis fans are known for their high baseball IQ like a Boston, New York, or Philly fan but that are known for being exceeding polite (Santa Claus would never good booed here, I'm looking at you Philly fan).
Anyway, these folks love their Cardinals. Maybe it is just the afterglow of an amazing World Series win.
And then I realize that you can't spell Cardinals without ALS and I remember why we are here.
We get to our hotel and The Kids are ready for drinks and some dinner.
It's the best dinner that we have on the Bucket Trip.
Meals may be my favorite time on the trip too. Because when my mom is sitting there, it's kind of like she isn't sick. Sure, she has trouble with drinking and eating and sometimes needs some help.
But most of the time it just feels normal.
Tonight, she made me laugh so hard.
She's been sucking down Cosmopolitans when we go out at night. But for whatever reason, her eyes were getting really big while she was sucking on the straw.
I had to start taking pictures.
The pictures made me laugh even harder.
I showed them to Jack and he started laughing at the pictures too.
"You are terrible! You are making fun of the dying cripple!" she says.
I start laughing even harder.
"LOOK AT YOUR EYES!!!" I say as I show her the picture.
I'm laughing so hard now it hurts.
I'm crying.
And for the first time on the Bucket Trip, it's because I'm happy.
You can feel the baseball fever here. I've only felt this in two other places, Cooperstown and Boston.
But it is different here than in those places and I don't totally know how to describe it.
As we drive in, we see a billboard that proclaims Cardinal fans as "Baseball's Greatest Fans."
Jack, who is not a sports fan, asks about that statement. I share with him that St. Louis fans are known for their high baseball IQ like a Boston, New York, or Philly fan but that are known for being exceeding polite (Santa Claus would never good booed here, I'm looking at you Philly fan).
Anyway, these folks love their Cardinals. Maybe it is just the afterglow of an amazing World Series win.
And then I realize that you can't spell Cardinals without ALS and I remember why we are here.
We get to our hotel and The Kids are ready for drinks and some dinner.
It's the best dinner that we have on the Bucket Trip.
Meals may be my favorite time on the trip too. Because when my mom is sitting there, it's kind of like she isn't sick. Sure, she has trouble with drinking and eating and sometimes needs some help.
But most of the time it just feels normal.
Tonight, she made me laugh so hard.
She's been sucking down Cosmopolitans when we go out at night. But for whatever reason, her eyes were getting really big while she was sucking on the straw.
I had to start taking pictures.
The pictures made me laugh even harder.
I showed them to Jack and he started laughing at the pictures too.
"You are terrible! You are making fun of the dying cripple!" she says.
I start laughing even harder.
"LOOK AT YOUR EYES!!!" I say as I show her the picture.
I'm laughing so hard now it hurts.
I'm crying.
And for the first time on the Bucket Trip, it's because I'm happy.
Day 7 - St. Louis, MO - Part Two
It happened again.
Another moment where the universe points out to me that this is where I'm supposed to be right now.
We're on the way to St. Louis and my mom is ready to take a break and get something to eat.
It's time for me to try Cracker Barrel for the first time.
We use Yelp to find the next one on our route. It is in Columbia, MO.
I pull up the directions for Jack and start giving him providing the navigation.
Now, I'm really not know for my navigation skills. I can get turned around pretty easy so anytime I provide directions, we could have an adventure.
Somehow, the directions I get from Google Maps get honked up and we are no where near our destination.
I recalculate the directions and it sends us to another location about 3 miles up from where we are at.
I scroll through the instructions to see what streets we need to take.
And that's when it happens again.
The last street that we need to go on is the name of the street that I grew up on.
Honestly, it isn't THAT common of a street name either.
And here it is again.
So while we are 2000 miles away from home, the universe keeps sending me these little reminders.
You're never far from home.
Another moment where the universe points out to me that this is where I'm supposed to be right now.
We're on the way to St. Louis and my mom is ready to take a break and get something to eat.
It's time for me to try Cracker Barrel for the first time.
We use Yelp to find the next one on our route. It is in Columbia, MO.
I pull up the directions for Jack and start giving him providing the navigation.
Now, I'm really not know for my navigation skills. I can get turned around pretty easy so anytime I provide directions, we could have an adventure.
Somehow, the directions I get from Google Maps get honked up and we are no where near our destination.
I recalculate the directions and it sends us to another location about 3 miles up from where we are at.
I scroll through the instructions to see what streets we need to take.
And that's when it happens again.
The last street that we need to go on is the name of the street that I grew up on.
Honestly, it isn't THAT common of a street name either.
And here it is again.
So while we are 2000 miles away from home, the universe keeps sending me these little reminders.
You're never far from home.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Day 7 - St. Louis, MO - Part One
A traveler without observation is a bird without wings." - Moslih Eddin Saadi
Day 7 - Kansas City, MO to St. Louis, MO - Daily Distance - 246 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 2047 miles
My mom heard the thunderstorm last night. It was one of the things that she wanted to experience on this trip.
A good, old-fashioned, mid-west thunderstorm.
They had already gone down for the night when it started and I was hoping that she wasn't asleep yet.
I was disappointed that I didn't get to see her experience it.
When something is happening that she really likes, she gets a child-like grin on her face.
I wanted to see that grin.
I saw it this morning but it wasn't because of the thunderstorm.
It was because she was able to feed herself.
The loss of her physical abilities has been sudden and dramatic.
One day, she's using a walker. The next day she can't get out of the chair.
When I'm putting her into the car, I typically have to put her hand up to the "Oh Shit" bar so she can adjust herself.
Last night, when we met the Kansas City A's bat boy, he tried to shake her hand. She couldn't do it.
So he high-fived her instead. (Note: Lowest. High Five. Ever.)
We are at a place where being able to feed herself raisin bran is cause for a mini-celebration.
I couldn't be happier about it.
Because she is still fighting.
Day 7 - Kansas City, MO to St. Louis, MO - Daily Distance - 246 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 2047 miles
My mom heard the thunderstorm last night. It was one of the things that she wanted to experience on this trip.
A good, old-fashioned, mid-west thunderstorm.
They had already gone down for the night when it started and I was hoping that she wasn't asleep yet.
I was disappointed that I didn't get to see her experience it.
When something is happening that she really likes, she gets a child-like grin on her face.
I wanted to see that grin.
I saw it this morning but it wasn't because of the thunderstorm.
It was because she was able to feed herself.
The loss of her physical abilities has been sudden and dramatic.
One day, she's using a walker. The next day she can't get out of the chair.
When I'm putting her into the car, I typically have to put her hand up to the "Oh Shit" bar so she can adjust herself.
Last night, when we met the Kansas City A's bat boy, he tried to shake her hand. She couldn't do it.
So he high-fived her instead. (Note: Lowest. High Five. Ever.)
We are at a place where being able to feed herself raisin bran is cause for a mini-celebration.
I couldn't be happier about it.
Because she is still fighting.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Day 6 - Kansas City, MO - Conclusion
My Mom's breathing is getting more labored.
Sometimes, she sounds like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle when she speaks.
She's getting anxious about meeting up with her cousins and I don't blame her.
Visiting Chicago was on the table as we started this trip. My Mom has pulled it off. We will see her family in the boot heel of Missouri and then we will head back to Santee, CA through the southwest portion of the United States.
I had floated the idea of visiting Marceline, Missouri while we were in the state. Walt Disney only lived there for like four years but it has such a huge impact on his life and Main Street, Marceline was the template for our Main Street, USA at Disneyland.
As a long time Disneyland Cast Member, working for the Company has provided me so many gifts and blessings over the years. I truly treasure the time that I've spent there and value the amazing people that I've had the opportunity to work with.
And I wanted to see this place.
But it would be a few hours out of the way and my Mom wasn't up to doing that now.
So, I wrote it off. This trip is about her and what she wants to do.
My bucket list can wait.
One of my facebook friends pointed out that the original Disney/Laugh-O-Gram Studio building was located in Kansas City (thanks, Uncle Tim!). If I couldn't go to Marceline, I could certainly make it to this building before we left for St. Louis.
We all agreed that it was more important to get my Mom back to the place that she was born.
And then Jack said that he'd rent a car so that I could split off with them at one point and go see Marceline.
I was stunned.
So I don't know when it is going to happen this week.
But I'm going to Marceline.
Sometimes, she sounds like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle when she speaks.
She's getting anxious about meeting up with her cousins and I don't blame her.
Visiting Chicago was on the table as we started this trip. My Mom has pulled it off. We will see her family in the boot heel of Missouri and then we will head back to Santee, CA through the southwest portion of the United States.
I had floated the idea of visiting Marceline, Missouri while we were in the state. Walt Disney only lived there for like four years but it has such a huge impact on his life and Main Street, Marceline was the template for our Main Street, USA at Disneyland.
As a long time Disneyland Cast Member, working for the Company has provided me so many gifts and blessings over the years. I truly treasure the time that I've spent there and value the amazing people that I've had the opportunity to work with.
And I wanted to see this place.
But it would be a few hours out of the way and my Mom wasn't up to doing that now.
So, I wrote it off. This trip is about her and what she wants to do.
My bucket list can wait.
One of my facebook friends pointed out that the original Disney/Laugh-O-Gram Studio building was located in Kansas City (thanks, Uncle Tim!). If I couldn't go to Marceline, I could certainly make it to this building before we left for St. Louis.
We all agreed that it was more important to get my Mom back to the place that she was born.
And then Jack said that he'd rent a car so that I could split off with them at one point and go see Marceline.
I was stunned.
So I don't know when it is going to happen this week.
But I'm going to Marceline.
Day 6 - Kansas City, MO - Part Three
For the first time at one of our hotel stops, we are less than thrilled with Holiday Inn.
It's not bad but the property just isn't as nice as the other locations that we've been staying at.
And my room has a very distincctive smell - OLD MAN.
After we get settled in our rooms, we head across the street to a restaurant that advertises that they made an appearance on the Food Network.
We roll in (literally) and Jack immediately likes the place.
It's a total dive.
We find a table that works with the wheelchair, take a seat, and wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Finally, a really scary server comes over to take a drink order and as she is walking away, she tells us to come to the counter to order food.
It's a Soup Nazi moment. It is really happening.
We are here in time for happy hour so all of our drinks come in plastic cups. Our food is ready in no time and you have to go pick that up.
Between Mom's ALS, Jack driving all day, and my weight loss, it doesn't take too long before all of us are feeling really good in this bar.
There are definitely a lot of characters in this bar, most of them have tattoos, piercings, or other body modifications that would violate the Disney look.
And then someone walks it that looks completely out of place.
He's a older gentleman with a gray receding hairline. He's wearing dockers and has a short sleeve tee shirt tucked into it.
The shirt indicates that he belongs to the Kansas City Athletics Baseball Historical Society. (For the non-basball fan readers out there, the Oakland A's were in Kansas City prior to moving west). He's talking to a younger man and I can hear him talk about his "claim to fame."
He's showing him an old Topps Baseball card that is in plastic.
He was a baseball player...at least that is what my slightly buzzed brain surmised.
I had enough liquid courage in me to interrupt his conversation.
"Excuse me, sir. May I see your baseball card?"
He immediately handed it over to me. It was the 1957 Kansas City A's Team baseball card.
"Which player are you?" I ask.
"For two years, I was the bat boy. But I got on one genuine Topps baseball card in this team photo."
I thank him for his time and return back to the table. I interrupted a conversation and had taken enough of his time.
He circled back to us after a while and offered us a 2 for 1 coupon for the place but we were just wrapping up our dinner and drinks.
He was there for his historical society monthly meeting. He's the treasurer of it and was there pretty early to make sure that they were ready to go.
My mom told him what a huge baseball fan I am and that was all that he needed. He sat down with us to show us a couple of the items that he brought with him.
Among them was a photograph of a Kansas City professional team that dated back to the late 1890's. Another was an example about how the A's put a shift on Mickey Mantle when he batted left handed. (I asked him why wouldn't Mantle just lay down a bunt. He was an excellent bunter and had a ton of speed. He really didn't have a strong answer to that).
We got a snapshot of his life. He was a realtor for 40 years. Was in the Marines for 4 years as well. He was stationed in San Diego and his son was born there (it cost him $20 at the hospital).
He asked us what we were doing and we told him (without getting all Debbie Downer) that we were in Missouri to visit family, just got into town, and thought this looked like a nice place to get dinner.
And then he said something amazing.
"So I guess it was just fate that we all happened to be here tonight."
That's right, brother. It was fate that brought us here.
It's not bad but the property just isn't as nice as the other locations that we've been staying at.
And my room has a very distincctive smell - OLD MAN.
After we get settled in our rooms, we head across the street to a restaurant that advertises that they made an appearance on the Food Network.
We roll in (literally) and Jack immediately likes the place.
It's a total dive.
We find a table that works with the wheelchair, take a seat, and wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Finally, a really scary server comes over to take a drink order and as she is walking away, she tells us to come to the counter to order food.
It's a Soup Nazi moment. It is really happening.
We are here in time for happy hour so all of our drinks come in plastic cups. Our food is ready in no time and you have to go pick that up.
Between Mom's ALS, Jack driving all day, and my weight loss, it doesn't take too long before all of us are feeling really good in this bar.
There are definitely a lot of characters in this bar, most of them have tattoos, piercings, or other body modifications that would violate the Disney look.
And then someone walks it that looks completely out of place.
He's a older gentleman with a gray receding hairline. He's wearing dockers and has a short sleeve tee shirt tucked into it.
The shirt indicates that he belongs to the Kansas City Athletics Baseball Historical Society. (For the non-basball fan readers out there, the Oakland A's were in Kansas City prior to moving west). He's talking to a younger man and I can hear him talk about his "claim to fame."
He's showing him an old Topps Baseball card that is in plastic.
He was a baseball player...at least that is what my slightly buzzed brain surmised.
I had enough liquid courage in me to interrupt his conversation.
"Excuse me, sir. May I see your baseball card?"
He immediately handed it over to me. It was the 1957 Kansas City A's Team baseball card.
"Which player are you?" I ask.
"For two years, I was the bat boy. But I got on one genuine Topps baseball card in this team photo."
I thank him for his time and return back to the table. I interrupted a conversation and had taken enough of his time.
He circled back to us after a while and offered us a 2 for 1 coupon for the place but we were just wrapping up our dinner and drinks.
He was there for his historical society monthly meeting. He's the treasurer of it and was there pretty early to make sure that they were ready to go.
My mom told him what a huge baseball fan I am and that was all that he needed. He sat down with us to show us a couple of the items that he brought with him.
Among them was a photograph of a Kansas City professional team that dated back to the late 1890's. Another was an example about how the A's put a shift on Mickey Mantle when he batted left handed. (I asked him why wouldn't Mantle just lay down a bunt. He was an excellent bunter and had a ton of speed. He really didn't have a strong answer to that).
We got a snapshot of his life. He was a realtor for 40 years. Was in the Marines for 4 years as well. He was stationed in San Diego and his son was born there (it cost him $20 at the hospital).
He asked us what we were doing and we told him (without getting all Debbie Downer) that we were in Missouri to visit family, just got into town, and thought this looked like a nice place to get dinner.
And then he said something amazing.
"So I guess it was just fate that we all happened to be here tonight."
That's right, brother. It was fate that brought us here.
Day 6 - Kansas City, MO - Part Two
Maybe I watched LOST too much but I don't believe in coincidence.
I might have at one time but I had too many weird things happen after my dad's passing.
Things happen for a reason.
For those of you that don't know me, I've been on a wellness kick for the last two years. I'm down 130 pounds so far and I'm 20 pounds from my goal. I did it through diet and working out. For the last 9 months, I've been doing a lot of strength training.
I'm so happy that I've been doing that because I never would have been strong enough for this trip.
I would have been no help.
All that effort in the gym is paying off now.
Something weird happens with where are hotel is at in Kansas City.
I'm trying to give Jack directions to get to it. I'm using Google Maps and I'm going through the directions.
The very last street to turn on throws me off.
I can't believe it. I know this street.
It's the same street name of the house that I grew up in.
The same street name of the house my dad died in.
I'm sorry. I just don't believe in coincidence.
Right now, I'm supposed to be here.
I might have at one time but I had too many weird things happen after my dad's passing.
Things happen for a reason.
For those of you that don't know me, I've been on a wellness kick for the last two years. I'm down 130 pounds so far and I'm 20 pounds from my goal. I did it through diet and working out. For the last 9 months, I've been doing a lot of strength training.
I'm so happy that I've been doing that because I never would have been strong enough for this trip.
I would have been no help.
All that effort in the gym is paying off now.
Something weird happens with where are hotel is at in Kansas City.
I'm trying to give Jack directions to get to it. I'm using Google Maps and I'm going through the directions.
The very last street to turn on throws me off.
I can't believe it. I know this street.
It's the same street name of the house that I grew up in.
The same street name of the house my dad died in.
I'm sorry. I just don't believe in coincidence.
Right now, I'm supposed to be here.
Day 6 - Kansas City, MO - Part One
"Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life." - Jack Kerouac
Day 6 - Hays, KS to Kansas City, MO - Daily Distance - 265 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1,801 miles
I'm so happy I got to do some laundry.
I didn't pack well for this trip. Clearly, I was on autopilot in the days leading up to it.
Last night, I knocked out "The Kids" laundry and this morning I did mine in between working out in the fitness center.
I have a lot of downtime in the morning right now. It's actually pretty nice. I typically find a set up in the lobby or the breakfast room and I catch up with everyone on my iPad.
I'm like the Maytag repairman. Just waiting for the call to go into action.
I've already got the car ready to go. I just need them to let me know when they are ready.
I get the text that they are ready for breakfast but they've missed the breakfast service in the hotel. I'm off to Subway instead (Eat Fresh!).
I drop off their orders and I leave them to enjoy breakfast alone. They had wanted to be on this trip alone and I thinking I'm finding a successful balance of giving them the space that they need.
They're ready to go.
Jack wheels my mom at to the car and I take all of their belongings on the ever present bell cart.
We get the Jeep loaded and we're ready to load my Mom.
Typically, I pull her up out of the chair while Jack supports her by holding the waistband of her pants.
Today, she's wearing a sun dress. There will be no assist from Jack.
I put my arms under her arms and give her a bear hug. I'm going to have to lift her up on my own so I get closer to her than normal.
We go on the count of three.
One.
Two.
Three.
I have her up...but I'm too close to her. I don't have the leverage to move her into the seat of the car.
She groans as her right foot gives way. I now have all of her weight on me.
I start to tip to my left and I can feel her begin to panic.
YOU.
WILL.
NOT.
FALL.
I can feel myself on the verge of losing it when I make a come back that Hulk Hogan would have been proud of.
I get her back fully upright.
And into her seat.
I look into my Mom's eyes and promise her.
"I will not let you fall."
Day 6 - Hays, KS to Kansas City, MO - Daily Distance - 265 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1,801 miles
I'm so happy I got to do some laundry.
I didn't pack well for this trip. Clearly, I was on autopilot in the days leading up to it.
Last night, I knocked out "The Kids" laundry and this morning I did mine in between working out in the fitness center.
I have a lot of downtime in the morning right now. It's actually pretty nice. I typically find a set up in the lobby or the breakfast room and I catch up with everyone on my iPad.
I'm like the Maytag repairman. Just waiting for the call to go into action.
I've already got the car ready to go. I just need them to let me know when they are ready.
I get the text that they are ready for breakfast but they've missed the breakfast service in the hotel. I'm off to Subway instead (Eat Fresh!).
I drop off their orders and I leave them to enjoy breakfast alone. They had wanted to be on this trip alone and I thinking I'm finding a successful balance of giving them the space that they need.
They're ready to go.
Jack wheels my mom at to the car and I take all of their belongings on the ever present bell cart.
We get the Jeep loaded and we're ready to load my Mom.
Typically, I pull her up out of the chair while Jack supports her by holding the waistband of her pants.
Today, she's wearing a sun dress. There will be no assist from Jack.
I put my arms under her arms and give her a bear hug. I'm going to have to lift her up on my own so I get closer to her than normal.
We go on the count of three.
One.
Two.
Three.
I have her up...but I'm too close to her. I don't have the leverage to move her into the seat of the car.
She groans as her right foot gives way. I now have all of her weight on me.
I start to tip to my left and I can feel her begin to panic.
YOU.
WILL.
NOT.
FALL.
I can feel myself on the verge of losing it when I make a come back that Hulk Hogan would have been proud of.
I get her back fully upright.
And into her seat.
I look into my Mom's eyes and promise her.
"I will not let you fall."
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Day 5 - Hays, KS - Conclusion
For the first time on this trip, we are in a rush.
Jack has a conference call in 10 minutes and we still aren't at the hotel.
It is the first time I see a flash of frustration. I get it too. He's done A LOT to make this happen.
He needs to be on the phone call.
The hotel is in an awkward spot just off the interstate. Google maps had sent us in the wrong direction.
We pull into the parking lot 3 minutes before his phone call.
I grab his credit card and go check us in while he takes his call and my mom stayss in the car.
It is pretty busy here, lots of summer travelers. They are turning people away looking for rooms. (Not me though).
The girl at the front desk is super nice and efficient. In no time, I have our keys to both rooms.
I head back to the car and let my Mom know what is happening and then I begin unloading everything.
I swipe an open bell cart and head to my room first to drop off my duffel bag.
I then head to their room. I do a quick survey to make sure everything is okay.
And for the first time on this trip, it's not.
The show is not a roll in shower. That may be my Mom's favorite thing about this trip.
It's a tub that would work if you had the upper body strength to pull yourself over to use it.
My mom's upper body strength is gone.
Right when I think we are going to be totally screwed, the phone in the room rings.
It's the super nice girl from the front desk. She wants to know if everything is okay.
I tell her it isn't. That we really need a roll in shower.
She takes a moment to look up availability of a room like that and finds one (thank you, baby jesus!).
I head back down to exchange keys with her and I bring all of their stuff to the new room.
I'm ready to grab my mom. She's been sitting in the car for a long time and now she's exhausted.
I get her out of the car and wheel her to her room.
I don't tell her what almost just happened.
Jack has a conference call in 10 minutes and we still aren't at the hotel.
It is the first time I see a flash of frustration. I get it too. He's done A LOT to make this happen.
He needs to be on the phone call.
The hotel is in an awkward spot just off the interstate. Google maps had sent us in the wrong direction.
We pull into the parking lot 3 minutes before his phone call.
I grab his credit card and go check us in while he takes his call and my mom stayss in the car.
It is pretty busy here, lots of summer travelers. They are turning people away looking for rooms. (Not me though).
The girl at the front desk is super nice and efficient. In no time, I have our keys to both rooms.
I head back to the car and let my Mom know what is happening and then I begin unloading everything.
I swipe an open bell cart and head to my room first to drop off my duffel bag.
I then head to their room. I do a quick survey to make sure everything is okay.
And for the first time on this trip, it's not.
The show is not a roll in shower. That may be my Mom's favorite thing about this trip.
It's a tub that would work if you had the upper body strength to pull yourself over to use it.
My mom's upper body strength is gone.
Right when I think we are going to be totally screwed, the phone in the room rings.
It's the super nice girl from the front desk. She wants to know if everything is okay.
I tell her it isn't. That we really need a roll in shower.
She takes a moment to look up availability of a room like that and finds one (thank you, baby jesus!).
I head back down to exchange keys with her and I bring all of their stuff to the new room.
I'm ready to grab my mom. She's been sitting in the car for a long time and now she's exhausted.
I get her out of the car and wheel her to her room.
I don't tell her what almost just happened.
Day 5 - Hays, KS - Part Three
So after driving more than 1500 and within a mile from where were going to get off of the interestate, we get the opportunity to meet one of Kansas' Finest.
He couldn't have been more friendly.
He asks Jack if he knows why he's being pulled over.
Jack feigns ingnorance.
"85 in a 75, sir" replies the officer.
Jack is aghast.
"I had NO IDEA! We just got this car for our trip to Missouri and it just rides so smooth. I can't believe we were going that fast.
My mom decides to chime in.
"Yeah, I can't tell how fast we going either."
The officer quickly decides to give Jack a warning but has since he has made a stop, he still needs to run his information.
He quickly returns to our car and chats with my mom about new cars and the impending storm that this area is going to get.
Jack thanks him and we are on are way again.
It was a nice little break to catch but I think the only reason we didn't get a ticket is because Jack didn't let my mom put her bumper sticker on the back of the new car.
Which bumper sticker, you ask?
That would be the "Obama 2012" one that is still sitting back home in Santee.
He couldn't have been more friendly.
He asks Jack if he knows why he's being pulled over.
Jack feigns ingnorance.
"85 in a 75, sir" replies the officer.
Jack is aghast.
"I had NO IDEA! We just got this car for our trip to Missouri and it just rides so smooth. I can't believe we were going that fast.
My mom decides to chime in.
"Yeah, I can't tell how fast we going either."
The officer quickly decides to give Jack a warning but has since he has made a stop, he still needs to run his information.
He quickly returns to our car and chats with my mom about new cars and the impending storm that this area is going to get.
Jack thanks him and we are on are way again.
It was a nice little break to catch but I think the only reason we didn't get a ticket is because Jack didn't let my mom put her bumper sticker on the back of the new car.
Which bumper sticker, you ask?
That would be the "Obama 2012" one that is still sitting back home in Santee.
Day 5 - Kays, KS - Part Two
Getting out of the altitude of Denver does wonders for "The Kids."
They are breathing easier within a couple of hours.
And for our longest leg, it is a pretty quiet trip. We really haven't been listening to the radio much on this trip. I don't know why. I think we are enjoying the spurts of conversation dotting the highway as we look at what we are passing.
Occasionally, I'll listen to a podcast (Mohr Stories - PUT YOUR NAME ON IT!) but for the most part, I'm content with just waiting for the next wave of the conversation to kick up.
Many times, it will start with looking for a place to stop and take a break.
Sitting for so long really can be uncomfortable for me mom. After about 2 or 3 hours on the road, she just needs the opportunity to have a different part of her butt to be sore.
Yelp has been an amazing help on the trip. Today, we found the best reviewing place in the middle of nowhere and had a phenomenal lunch. (and yes, I was the dbag taking picture of the town we were in with my iPad, wanna fight about it? My Mom enjoyed letting me know that the locals inside the restaurant were wondering what the heck I was doing).
What's really nice about playing navigator to Jack's piloting is that if you mess up on the directions, something good is probably going to come of it. We're going to see something that we shouldn't have seen but it just seems like we were meant to.
That happened after leaving the restaurant today. It was a little tricky getting back to the interstate and we couldn't just doubleback.
So while I'm struggling to figure it out. Jack sees something interesting.
"What's under that tent?"
It is what appears to be a traveling petty zoo. But it is like no petting zoo I've ever seen.
There is a huge camel out in front.
Who would ever had thought that we'd drive all the way to Kansas and run into a camel on accient.
More than anything, I know it is okay to go around the "wrong" corner.
Because whatever is there may just be a nice surprise.
They are breathing easier within a couple of hours.
And for our longest leg, it is a pretty quiet trip. We really haven't been listening to the radio much on this trip. I don't know why. I think we are enjoying the spurts of conversation dotting the highway as we look at what we are passing.
Occasionally, I'll listen to a podcast (Mohr Stories - PUT YOUR NAME ON IT!) but for the most part, I'm content with just waiting for the next wave of the conversation to kick up.
Many times, it will start with looking for a place to stop and take a break.
Sitting for so long really can be uncomfortable for me mom. After about 2 or 3 hours on the road, she just needs the opportunity to have a different part of her butt to be sore.
Yelp has been an amazing help on the trip. Today, we found the best reviewing place in the middle of nowhere and had a phenomenal lunch. (and yes, I was the dbag taking picture of the town we were in with my iPad, wanna fight about it? My Mom enjoyed letting me know that the locals inside the restaurant were wondering what the heck I was doing).
What's really nice about playing navigator to Jack's piloting is that if you mess up on the directions, something good is probably going to come of it. We're going to see something that we shouldn't have seen but it just seems like we were meant to.
That happened after leaving the restaurant today. It was a little tricky getting back to the interstate and we couldn't just doubleback.
So while I'm struggling to figure it out. Jack sees something interesting.
"What's under that tent?"
It is what appears to be a traveling petty zoo. But it is like no petting zoo I've ever seen.
There is a huge camel out in front.
Who would ever had thought that we'd drive all the way to Kansas and run into a camel on accient.
More than anything, I know it is okay to go around the "wrong" corner.
Because whatever is there may just be a nice surprise.
Day 5 - Hays, KS - Part One
"All the pathos and irony of leaving one's youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time." - Paul Fussell
Day 5 - Denver, CO to Hays, KS - Daily Distance - 343 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1536 miles
The altitude is killing both of them.
We've got to get out of here.
Traveling has been exceptionally hard on my Mom. We had thought that it might be wise to stay a second day in Denver. But neither one of them can catch their wind.
My mom recognizes that the struggle for air here is a glimpse into the future with this disease.
Jack does better with the altitude but not by much. For the first time on the trip, he has been yielding to me to do some of the physical tasks that someone has to do on this trip. He has recognized that he needs to stop and pause when necessary.
We've got to get out of here.
I'm packed and ready to go. I've had breakfast and used the gym here. I wait until the complementary breakfast bar is about to shut down and then I grab them a variety of breakfast items so that they can choose what they want to eat.
I bring it back to their room by they are not ready for company yet. Let a prison guard, I slip Jack two plates of breakfast items as he cracks open the door and then I take a seat in the hallway and wait until they are ready to go.
This is going to be the longest leg of our trip.
We've got to get out of here.
And we are running out of time.
Day 5 - Denver, CO to Hays, KS - Daily Distance - 343 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1536 miles
The altitude is killing both of them.
We've got to get out of here.
Traveling has been exceptionally hard on my Mom. We had thought that it might be wise to stay a second day in Denver. But neither one of them can catch their wind.
My mom recognizes that the struggle for air here is a glimpse into the future with this disease.
Jack does better with the altitude but not by much. For the first time on the trip, he has been yielding to me to do some of the physical tasks that someone has to do on this trip. He has recognized that he needs to stop and pause when necessary.
We've got to get out of here.
I'm packed and ready to go. I've had breakfast and used the gym here. I wait until the complementary breakfast bar is about to shut down and then I grab them a variety of breakfast items so that they can choose what they want to eat.
I bring it back to their room by they are not ready for company yet. Let a prison guard, I slip Jack two plates of breakfast items as he cracks open the door and then I take a seat in the hallway and wait until they are ready to go.
This is going to be the longest leg of our trip.
We've got to get out of here.
And we are running out of time.
Day 4 - Denver, CO - Conclusion
Friends of mine have been so kind to reach out this week. I am humbled by how many people want to help or meet up or just say hang in there.
I'm tearing up just thinking about it. (FYI, I think I'm manstrating).
As people watch our progess on the Bucket Trip, they seem to get excited as we near their part of the country.
Unfortunately, we haven't been able to stop and see anybody.
But tonight after my Mom went to bed, I got to meet up with two former Cast Members (Carolyn and Jenny) from Disneyland Custodial.
One of them was so kind to come and pick me up (thanks, Jenny!).
The other was kind enough to host us (thanks, Carolyn!).
It is so awesome to be able to rekindle the friendships that were forged during a never ending battle of cleaning trash at Disneyland.
I have many fond memories of working with Jenny on parade clean up and Carolyn on Utility crew and restrooms.
The feeling that I have is probably not unlike what contestants feel on Survivor when they win a reward challenge.
For a couple of hours, I don't have to worry about the game.
I'm having fun on this trip but it is nice to have a break.
We don't stay too long at Carolyn's place. I make her take a picture with me and Jenny and we say our goodbyes.
Jenny and I decide to grab a beer before calling it a night.
We find a...well...I don't want to call it a dive bar....it's....a bar with character.
The place is mostly empty and the music is a little too loud (when did I become an old man???).
We actually figure out which table is the sweet spot in between the blaring speakers.
The conversation jumps from topic to topic. It is free and easy.
We get a floor show when this HOT MESS of a girl loses her balance on the way out.
Her companion can't get her off of the floor.
It is officially the greatest thing I've seen in my life.
Finally, the guy she is with gets her back on her feet. Smacks her on the ass. And they leave the bar.
It was quite an exit.
Jenny and I leave shortly after this. It is a long ride back to the Holiday Inn.
I can't even tell you how weird it is to have no idea where you are at or where you are going.
Jenny and I say our goodbyes with a big hug and the offer to chat anytime.
I am so humbled by my friends.
I'm tearing up just thinking about it. (FYI, I think I'm manstrating).
As people watch our progess on the Bucket Trip, they seem to get excited as we near their part of the country.
Unfortunately, we haven't been able to stop and see anybody.
But tonight after my Mom went to bed, I got to meet up with two former Cast Members (Carolyn and Jenny) from Disneyland Custodial.
One of them was so kind to come and pick me up (thanks, Jenny!).
The other was kind enough to host us (thanks, Carolyn!).
It is so awesome to be able to rekindle the friendships that were forged during a never ending battle of cleaning trash at Disneyland.
I have many fond memories of working with Jenny on parade clean up and Carolyn on Utility crew and restrooms.
The feeling that I have is probably not unlike what contestants feel on Survivor when they win a reward challenge.
For a couple of hours, I don't have to worry about the game.
I'm having fun on this trip but it is nice to have a break.
We don't stay too long at Carolyn's place. I make her take a picture with me and Jenny and we say our goodbyes.
Jenny and I decide to grab a beer before calling it a night.
We find a...well...I don't want to call it a dive bar....it's....a bar with character.
The place is mostly empty and the music is a little too loud (when did I become an old man???).
We actually figure out which table is the sweet spot in between the blaring speakers.
The conversation jumps from topic to topic. It is free and easy.
We get a floor show when this HOT MESS of a girl loses her balance on the way out.
Her companion can't get her off of the floor.
It is officially the greatest thing I've seen in my life.
Finally, the guy she is with gets her back on her feet. Smacks her on the ass. And they leave the bar.
It was quite an exit.
Jenny and I leave shortly after this. It is a long ride back to the Holiday Inn.
I can't even tell you how weird it is to have no idea where you are at or where you are going.
Jenny and I say our goodbyes with a big hug and the offer to chat anytime.
I am so humbled by my friends.
Day 4 - Denver, CO - Part Four
We all have a nice time a dinner. There are a lot of laughs (which were needed).
The best line of the night goes to my mom when she says that God really got her this time. He put her in a situation when she can eat anything that she wants but she doesn't have the ability to put it in her mouth.
I've also realized that my Mom is totally lurking on my blog.
Mom, if you are reading this now - stop it.
When the trip is over, you are more than welcome to read it. This is for the people that aren't with us right now.
Do we have a deal?
(There is no way she is going to stop reading).
After dinner, we head back to the Holiday Inn. Jack put them in a suite so it would be comfortable for them to have a visit with his son.
But by the time we get back, my Mom is on the verge of exhaustion.
We clearly underestimated the effect that the high altitude was going to have on both my Mom and Jack.
We were thinking we might stay a second day here but it is clear that we need to get closer to sea level.
It is time to put her to bed.
Jack's son senses this and gets up to leave. Jack and I shake hands with him and then he reaches in to give my mom a hug.
He says goodbye to my mom.
This will be the last time that he sees her and we all know it.
She whispers something in his ear.
I can't make it out.
And just like Abed on Community, I hate it when they do that in movies.
The best line of the night goes to my mom when she says that God really got her this time. He put her in a situation when she can eat anything that she wants but she doesn't have the ability to put it in her mouth.
I've also realized that my Mom is totally lurking on my blog.
Mom, if you are reading this now - stop it.
When the trip is over, you are more than welcome to read it. This is for the people that aren't with us right now.
Do we have a deal?
(There is no way she is going to stop reading).
After dinner, we head back to the Holiday Inn. Jack put them in a suite so it would be comfortable for them to have a visit with his son.
But by the time we get back, my Mom is on the verge of exhaustion.
We clearly underestimated the effect that the high altitude was going to have on both my Mom and Jack.
We were thinking we might stay a second day here but it is clear that we need to get closer to sea level.
It is time to put her to bed.
Jack's son senses this and gets up to leave. Jack and I shake hands with him and then he reaches in to give my mom a hug.
He says goodbye to my mom.
This will be the last time that he sees her and we all know it.
She whispers something in his ear.
I can't make it out.
And just like Abed on Community, I hate it when they do that in movies.
Day 4 - Denver, CO - Part Three
The good news is getting her in and out of the car is getting easier. We all understand what she can and what she can't do.
With each time we succesfully get her in and out, her trust in us grows.
I'm simply not going to drop her.
We head off to a local steakhouse to meet Jack's son. It's been probably 3 or 4 years since I've seen him last.
We pull up to the restaurant and something doesn't totally look right.
It doesn't appear to be wheelchair accessable.
Before we get her out of the car, I'm going do some recon and see how we can get her in.
It is pretty clear what is wrong. There are patio tables and chairs blocking the access for wheelchairs. I go into the restaurant and ask the hostesses if they can help me with these tables so my mom can get it.
Three of them spring into action and start clearing a path for us.
I return to the car.
"Am I going to fit?" my mom asks.
I tell her that she'll be fine.
She flashes a wry smile at me.
"That's too bad! I thought we had a good ADA claim and we were going to be rich!"
That's not the first joke about money on this trip. Money has been a recurring topic but in a fascinating way.
In so many ways, money has lost any value with my Mom and Jack.
Their most precious commodity is time.
And that is slipping away.
With each time we succesfully get her in and out, her trust in us grows.
I'm simply not going to drop her.
We head off to a local steakhouse to meet Jack's son. It's been probably 3 or 4 years since I've seen him last.
We pull up to the restaurant and something doesn't totally look right.
It doesn't appear to be wheelchair accessable.
Before we get her out of the car, I'm going do some recon and see how we can get her in.
It is pretty clear what is wrong. There are patio tables and chairs blocking the access for wheelchairs. I go into the restaurant and ask the hostesses if they can help me with these tables so my mom can get it.
Three of them spring into action and start clearing a path for us.
I return to the car.
"Am I going to fit?" my mom asks.
I tell her that she'll be fine.
She flashes a wry smile at me.
"That's too bad! I thought we had a good ADA claim and we were going to be rich!"
That's not the first joke about money on this trip. Money has been a recurring topic but in a fascinating way.
In so many ways, money has lost any value with my Mom and Jack.
Their most precious commodity is time.
And that is slipping away.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Day 4 - Denver, CO - Part Two
Everyone has said that the drive to Denver will be the most beautiful part of the trip.
They weren't lying. There is definitely something to be said for seeing a place that you've always heard about for the very first time.
Today seems like a tougher day that what we've had before and I think it can be attributed to the altitude. My mom is having some trouble getting enough oxygen today. Hopefully, we'll have a rest day tomorrow before we head off to Kansas.
What is really ironic is that while I'm doing so many things for the first time on this trip, my mom recognizes that she is doing them for the last time. Can you even imagine owning that checklist?
She was talking about how she will never get in a bathing suit or swim again.
It is kind of surreal to think about and I struggle with understanding what that must be like.
So tonight will be one of those "Last Time" moments. She is going to say goodbye to Jack's son and I think I may bow out for this one. I'm going to be with "The Kids" for another couple of weeks but this is going to be it for my stepbrother. I'd like to give him his own space and time for this.
We'll see how it goes...
They weren't lying. There is definitely something to be said for seeing a place that you've always heard about for the very first time.
Today seems like a tougher day that what we've had before and I think it can be attributed to the altitude. My mom is having some trouble getting enough oxygen today. Hopefully, we'll have a rest day tomorrow before we head off to Kansas.
What is really ironic is that while I'm doing so many things for the first time on this trip, my mom recognizes that she is doing them for the last time. Can you even imagine owning that checklist?
She was talking about how she will never get in a bathing suit or swim again.
It is kind of surreal to think about and I struggle with understanding what that must be like.
So tonight will be one of those "Last Time" moments. She is going to say goodbye to Jack's son and I think I may bow out for this one. I'm going to be with "The Kids" for another couple of weeks but this is going to be it for my stepbrother. I'd like to give him his own space and time for this.
We'll see how it goes...
Day 4 - Denver, CO - Part One
"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving." - Lao Tzu
Day 4 - Grand Junction, CO to Denver, CO - Daily Distance 243 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1193 miles
Before they got married, there was a time when I caught my Mom and Jack taking a shower together.
I was probably 16 or 17 at the time. I had left the house momentarily but then (unexpectedly) returned. When I got back, I heard the shower on and realized that there was only one place they could possibly be.
So I waited.
They had to have heard me come back home. The front door was right next to the shower.
I sat at the bar.
I heard the water turn off.
I heard some muffled whispers.
My mom's head peeked out of the bathroom door.
"HELLO?" she called out.
"Trying to think of a cool way to get out of there, aren't we?"
She just laughed and ducked back into the bathroom.
I decided to cut them some slack and leave
They were both younger than I am now when this happened.
Now, they're in the shower together again. This time, in a disabled guest wheel-in shower at a Holiday Inn. He's bathing her these days. A good shower is one of the highlights of her day.
And instead of being just outside, I'm in the lobby of the hotel waiting for them to let me know that they would like my help. I'm half-watching an episode of Supernatural on TNT (they know drama!), drinking bad hotel lobby coffee, and alternating between laughing and crying from what so many friends are sending me via facebook.
We have about 5 hours of driving a head of us but clearly we are not in a rush.
Enjoy the shower, kids.
Day 4 - Grand Junction, CO to Denver, CO - Daily Distance 243 miles - The Bucket Trip Distance - 1193 miles
Before they got married, there was a time when I caught my Mom and Jack taking a shower together.
I was probably 16 or 17 at the time. I had left the house momentarily but then (unexpectedly) returned. When I got back, I heard the shower on and realized that there was only one place they could possibly be.
So I waited.
They had to have heard me come back home. The front door was right next to the shower.
I sat at the bar.
I heard the water turn off.
I heard some muffled whispers.
My mom's head peeked out of the bathroom door.
"HELLO?" she called out.
"Trying to think of a cool way to get out of there, aren't we?"
She just laughed and ducked back into the bathroom.
I decided to cut them some slack and leave
They were both younger than I am now when this happened.
Now, they're in the shower together again. This time, in a disabled guest wheel-in shower at a Holiday Inn. He's bathing her these days. A good shower is one of the highlights of her day.
And instead of being just outside, I'm in the lobby of the hotel waiting for them to let me know that they would like my help. I'm half-watching an episode of Supernatural on TNT (they know drama!), drinking bad hotel lobby coffee, and alternating between laughing and crying from what so many friends are sending me via facebook.
We have about 5 hours of driving a head of us but clearly we are not in a rush.
Enjoy the shower, kids.
Day 3 - Grand Junction, CO - Conclusion
After "The Kids" took an afternoon nap, we met in the hotel restaurant for dinner.
We are having some really nice conversations right now. Jack really credits my Mom with giving him a truly incredible second half to his life. It was really sweet to see.
Jack asks if I've ever been to this part of the country and I told him that I haven't.
I've never had a reason to come out this way.
This led to a conversation about the road trips that they've been on in the past and the first time that she saw - THE THING.
"What's the thing?" I asked.
"Throughout Arizona, there are signs teasing THE THING and how you need to see it. It is a roadside attraction that you pay a dollar for. And then you get to see THE THING."
"So, what's the thing? I asked.
"We can't tell you!"
I tried to get them to spill but they won't.
Jack finally said, "Look, when Maddy and Pancake get a little older, maybe we should do this roadtrip again? And we can take you guys to see The Thing."
It was really nice to hear that he's planning on being in my life long after my mom is gone.
We are having some really nice conversations right now. Jack really credits my Mom with giving him a truly incredible second half to his life. It was really sweet to see.
Jack asks if I've ever been to this part of the country and I told him that I haven't.
I've never had a reason to come out this way.
This led to a conversation about the road trips that they've been on in the past and the first time that she saw - THE THING.
"What's the thing?" I asked.
"Throughout Arizona, there are signs teasing THE THING and how you need to see it. It is a roadside attraction that you pay a dollar for. And then you get to see THE THING."
"So, what's the thing? I asked.
"We can't tell you!"
I tried to get them to spill but they won't.
Jack finally said, "Look, when Maddy and Pancake get a little older, maybe we should do this roadtrip again? And we can take you guys to see The Thing."
It was really nice to hear that he's planning on being in my life long after my mom is gone.
Day 3 - Grand Junction, CO - Part Two
I've discovered that the AT&T 3G network is not so great in the middle of Utah.
The result of this is that when we do get a signal, I get flooded with notes, texts, and facebook "likes."
I can't tell you how much that means to me. I'm excited that this story is resonating with so many people and I'm happy to bring you along the way.
I did get one note today that really hit home with me. It was from the Rabbi. We've been friends for more than two decade now and he's spent some considerable time at my Mom's place over the years. Here's what he shared with me:
Hey John, I feel you and your Mom and Jack very close to my heart. I am holding you in my thoughts and all of my prayers. I thank you for allowing us to share this journey (one day you should turn this blog and your dad's blog into a book).
I was studying today for a class I am teaching at the Catholic Church next door and I found this (I am sharing it at the risk of it feeling way off to you - if so, burn this immediately!):
Numbers 20:24, 27-29 - "Let Aaron be gathered to his kin...Moses did as the Lord commanded. They ascended Mount Hor in the sight of the whole community. Moses stripped Aaron of his vestments and put them on his son Eleazar, and Aaron died there on the summit of the mountain. When Moses and Eleazer came down from the mountain, the whole community knew that Aaron had breathed his last. All the house of Israel bewailed Aaron 30 days."
"The righteous are informed of the day of their death so that they may hand the crown to their children." - (Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah)
Love you,
g
Reading this note had a powerful effect on me and I started crying silently in the back seat of the car.
I know what is going to happen to her.
I'm just not ready for her to go.
PS. I love you too, G. Two down low for life!!!
The result of this is that when we do get a signal, I get flooded with notes, texts, and facebook "likes."
I can't tell you how much that means to me. I'm excited that this story is resonating with so many people and I'm happy to bring you along the way.
I did get one note today that really hit home with me. It was from the Rabbi. We've been friends for more than two decade now and he's spent some considerable time at my Mom's place over the years. Here's what he shared with me:
Hey John, I feel you and your Mom and Jack very close to my heart. I am holding you in my thoughts and all of my prayers. I thank you for allowing us to share this journey (one day you should turn this blog and your dad's blog into a book).
I was studying today for a class I am teaching at the Catholic Church next door and I found this (I am sharing it at the risk of it feeling way off to you - if so, burn this immediately!):
Numbers 20:24, 27-29 - "Let Aaron be gathered to his kin...Moses did as the Lord commanded. They ascended Mount Hor in the sight of the whole community. Moses stripped Aaron of his vestments and put them on his son Eleazar, and Aaron died there on the summit of the mountain. When Moses and Eleazer came down from the mountain, the whole community knew that Aaron had breathed his last. All the house of Israel bewailed Aaron 30 days."
"The righteous are informed of the day of their death so that they may hand the crown to their children." - (Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah)
Love you,
g
Reading this note had a powerful effect on me and I started crying silently in the back seat of the car.
I know what is going to happen to her.
I'm just not ready for her to go.
PS. I love you too, G. Two down low for life!!!
Day 3 - Grand Junction, CO - Part One
The journey not the arrival matters" - T.S. Elliot
Day 3 - Beaver, UT to Grand Junction, CO - Daily Distance 235 miles, The Bucket Trip Distance - 950 miles
Today was the day when I noticed something peculiar about our trip.
We don't really stop.
Sure, we make pit stops for food or the restrooms. But we are really stopping to see anything.
Until today.
There was a turn out to see Early Castle Valley. It was my first opportunity to get out of the car and see SOMETHING that didn't have something to do with pumping gas or expelling gas.
When the car stopped, I bounced out of the car and started snapping photos. Typically, I would react like Clark Griswold when his family arrived at the Grand Canyon and want to get out of there as quickly as possible.
Today was different.
Today I couldn't get enough of the sights.
But stopping for too long really isn't an option. We've been making good time but each day is a race against the my mom's stamina level.
I hopped back in the car and we were back on the way to Colorado.
As we continued our drive, the terrain changed into something that looked very familiar to me.
It began to look like the terrain from the movie, Cars.
Now at Disney California Adventure, Carsland is about to open. In fact it will open while I'm on The Bucket Trip. It is probably the most important event at the Disneyland Resort since July 17th, 2005 when we celebrated our 50th birthday.
An event that I missed because my father had passed away 3 days earlier.
Looking at these amazing rock formations, I realized one thing.
Right now, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Day 3 - Beaver, UT to Grand Junction, CO - Daily Distance 235 miles, The Bucket Trip Distance - 950 miles
Today was the day when I noticed something peculiar about our trip.
We don't really stop.
Sure, we make pit stops for food or the restrooms. But we are really stopping to see anything.
Until today.
There was a turn out to see Early Castle Valley. It was my first opportunity to get out of the car and see SOMETHING that didn't have something to do with pumping gas or expelling gas.
When the car stopped, I bounced out of the car and started snapping photos. Typically, I would react like Clark Griswold when his family arrived at the Grand Canyon and want to get out of there as quickly as possible.
Today was different.
Today I couldn't get enough of the sights.
But stopping for too long really isn't an option. We've been making good time but each day is a race against the my mom's stamina level.
I hopped back in the car and we were back on the way to Colorado.
As we continued our drive, the terrain changed into something that looked very familiar to me.
It began to look like the terrain from the movie, Cars.
Now at Disney California Adventure, Carsland is about to open. In fact it will open while I'm on The Bucket Trip. It is probably the most important event at the Disneyland Resort since July 17th, 2005 when we celebrated our 50th birthday.
An event that I missed because my father had passed away 3 days earlier.
Looking at these amazing rock formations, I realized one thing.
Right now, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
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